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IPhone Hacks My coworker’s Apple ID got hacked and his IPhone has bricked. The hacker demanded about 100 dollars to unlock it. I looked it up on social media and found that a large number of same cases had been reported by iPhone users. My coworker didn’t think the hacker may be trustworthy, so he turned to the Post-sale of Apple for help. Incredibly, they even charged more, and there was no guarantee of maintenance efficiency! And plus, Apple would only help customers to unlock their hacked devices on condition that the invoices and packing boxes are retained. Luckily, my coworker has been keeping both of them. He had no choice but to pay for the bill. Nowadays, smartphones are indispensable for many people, even to the point of having to use it while going to the bathroom. A smartphone has become our camera, entertainment device and electronic wallet as well. In China, there has been a trend towards using electronic wallet, such as Alipay, WeChat Pay and Apple Pay. Many people use them to go shopping, transfer money, to pay utility bills and even trade stocks. Apple iOS system is wildly considered as more secure than Android operating system, but it was proved IPhone is still not secure enough. How can we keep our information safe on the internet? There's a big question mark here.

Corrections · 2

1

IPhone Hacks

My coworker’s Apple ID got hacked and his IPhone has bricked. The hacker demanded about 100 dollars to unlock it. I looked it up on social media and found that a large number of (same-->similar) cases had been reported by iPhone users.

My coworker didn’t think the hacker (may-->would) be trustworthy, so he turned to the Apple post-sale support (tech support) for help. Incredibly, they even charged more (they charged even more), and there was no guarantee of maintenance efficiency (maintenance efficiency是什么意思?) Plus (“and"和"plus"这里的功能都一样,只能用一个), Apple would only help customers to unlock their hacked devices on the condition that the invoices and packing boxes (are-->were) retained. Luckily, my coworker (has been keeping-->had kept) both of them. He had no choice but to pay (删掉for) the bill.

Nowadays, smartphones are indispensable for many people, even to the point of having to use it while going to the bathroom. A smartphone has become our camera, entertainment device, and electronic wallet as well. In China, there has been a trend towards using electronic wallets, such as Alipay, WeChat Pay and Apple Pay. Many people use them to go shopping, transfer money, (删掉to) pay utility bills, and even trade stocks.

Apple iOS (system可以不说,因为 iOS这个缩写里面已经有system) is (wildly-->widely) considered (as-->to be) more secure than the Android operating system, but it was proved that the iPhone is still not secure enough. How can we keep our information safe on the internet? There's a big question mark here.

(Plus, Apple would only help customers who had retained their invoices and packing boxes. Plus, Apple would only help customers who had kept their original receipts and packing boxes.)

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Very nice piece of writing. The prior suggested edits might make your essay more clear and precise but really overall it is put together quite well. I only see four absolutely necessary suggestions: "proved" which needs to be "proven", "same" to "similar" delete the "and" next to "plus" also "may" to "might" - the essay flows well and the grammar and vocab has a very native-like quality to it! I'm suggesting "might" instead of "would" as previously suggested by N.W. but each word brings about a slightly different meaning.

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