Corrections · 4
Racial equality rather than gender equality should be the main priority for a country leader.
It is undoubtedly true that every country leader should fight racial inequality, so that all the people, whatever race they are or whatever language they speak, have the same rights, such as education or health care. But it is also known that gender equality should be guaranteed, so that our countries are as developed are they are supposed to be.In Spain, the number of women killed due to gender violence is frighteningly increasing every year. And what is more, nowadays teenagers are thought to be more sexist than they were twenty years ago. Therefore, we ought to wonder if our society is evolving in a the correct way. Laws state that women have the same rights and opportunities as men, with regard to education, job and other issues. However, in practice, people realise that this is not true. For some women, for instance, it is still difficult to find a job in business, especially if they are expected to have children.
As for racial inequality, it is a well known fact that immigrants don't have the same opportunities for example, as Spanish people to find a job. They are sometimes rejected just because of their race. Moreover when they find one, it will probably be a bad job.
So governments should make a huge effort to control and punish all these kinds of inequalities, if we want our country to be really developed. We should value people for what they are, not for their appearance.
To sum up, as far as I am concerned, no country leader should choose between one of these issues, but both of them ought to be achieved.
Very well done! Very sophisticated, I look forward to speaking Spanish at the same level!!! I enjoyed your writing.
Here are some suggestions for you, grammatically you are correct but as a native English speaker I would say the following, as they sound a lot more natural.
"a correct way" I would say "the right way"
" with regard to education, job and other issues. " I would say "with regards to education, employment and so on"
"they are expected to have children" I would say "if they decide to have children" it's the women who decide to have children, the employer does not expect this of them.
" it will probably be a bad job" - bad is very vague (and relative) I would say " it would probably be a menial job".
"So governments should " I would say "So governments must." "Must" emphasises the seriousness of the issue and implies the governments do not have a choice in the matter.
"every country leader" - "every world leader"
Another point, you conclude that "no country leader should choose between one of these issues, but both of them ought to be achieved." but your title suggests "Racial Equality" should be prioritised so you might want to change the title.
Hope this helps!
Racial equality rather than gender equality should be the main priority for the leader of a country.
It is undoubtedly true that every head of state should fight racial inequality, so that all the people, whatever race they are or whatever language they speak, have the same rights, such as to education or to health care. But it is also certain that gender equality should be guaranteed, so that our countries are as developed are they are supposed to be.In Spain, the number of women killed due to gender violence is frighteningly increasing every year. And what is more, nowadays (quite informal) teenagers are thought to be more sexist (misogynistic) than they were twenty years ago. Therefore, we ought to wonder if our society is evolving in the correct way. Laws state that women have the same rights and opportunities as men, with regard to education, jobs and other issues. However, in practice, it is well understood [people realise] that this is not true. For some women, for instance, is still difficult to find a job in business, especially if they plan to have children.
As for racial inequality, it is a well known fact that immigrants don't have the same opportunities in finding work for example, that Spanish people do. They are sometimes rejected just because of their race (or because of the employer's racism, to put it another way ). Moreover when they find one, it will probably be a bad job.
So governments should make a huge effort to control and punish all these kinds of inequalities, if we want our country to be really developed. We should value people for what they are, not for their appearance.
To sum up, as far as I am concerned, no leader should choose between one of these issues, but work towards achieving both goals.
Very good. The phrase 'leader of a country' sound quite foreign. Try leader/president/head of state/politician.
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