Why we more likely to hurt these who are closest to us Sometimes,we don’t know that we have a very high expectations with our closest ones. To our closest ones, we usually have more patience towards those we don’t know much, and have more sympathy with them. Because we hypothetically understand that they know nothing or a little about us, so that if we want the others can sympathize, we need communicate with them more. On the contrast, when we are with our closest ones, we have less patience and have more temper, because we think our closest ones have already known us, and they know us more than anyone else. In general,more closer, more supportive, but our closest ones couldn’t understand us at very point and we couldn’t understand them for everything as well. Once we deal with something which is frustrating, we usually think that we know the others couldn’t understand us, why our closest ones that we spend so much time with couldn’t understand us either? The others couldn’t support us, why these closest ones couldn’t support us either? That becomes unaccepted. Then with this idea, we become more and more annoyed with our closest ones. We always have high expectations with our parents and closest friends and we just don’t recognize it.　 More closed we are, more pressure we have. Comparing with the strangers, when we face the expectations or requirements from our closest ones, we become more distressful, because we care about them more, and we don’t want to let them down. When we know the expectations from our closest ones, if we can’t make it that will cause the risk of letting them down. If they are not happy, we won’t happy either. It is like we already know the consequence before the things start. Then we do our best to make it, more hard working, more pressure. When these pressure accumulated day by day, the might another stressful case comes, then we finally erupt. But in our close ones’eyes, this is irrational,they might only see the last distressful case and ignore the previous stressful accumulated cases, they definitely couldn’t understand it. The misunderstanding between us and our closest ones makes us hard to communicate again, the problem hasn’t been solved, and become more and more worse, we have fallen in a vicious circle of tantrums.