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Shih Chen, Wang
Writing Practice Topic: Some people think airplanes consume too much fuel, so air travel should be banned totally. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Airplanes has been invented at early twenty century, to be the most advantage technology in that time, bring the human beings a possibility to fly. This innovation is not just make the dream, which allows people travel around the world in one day come true but create a bigger one, travel between stars. After Industrial Revolution, fuel is playing an significant role in daily life. That seems the whole world is controlled by the oil, which means the conception of airplanes consume to much fuel is a bias. I think almost every activity on earth is trying to deplete the oil not only airplanes. Trying to prohibit the air travel would not help anything. So how to reduce the usage amount is the core issue. I believe with the global warming slowly changing the environments, some scientists dedicate to explore new energy resources like tide power and solar power to diminish the emission of the green house air. On the other hand, I believe trying to ban the air travel is impossible because there are so many activities related to it. Since the air travel is not only for rich person, everybody takes airplane to travel the world and do extreme sport. Those entertainments become the most important part in our life. Some of my friends travel to other country more than three times a year. I have heard a woman took the plane to Hong Kong just for Dim Sum and flight back Taiwan in same day. I know it is a little bit crazy but to enjoy their life is nothing wrong. In the end, I have read a report about the scientist use the solar power plane flight through the continent. That is amazing. That is what we need to do for all of us. To ban the air travel is nonsensical. Thank you for your reading. Please give me some advises about the article or everything you think I need to know.

Corrections · 1

1

Writing Practice

Topic: Some people think airplanes consume too much fuel, so air travel should be banned totally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Airplanes were invented in the early twentieth century, to be the most advanced technology at that time, to give human beings the possibility to fly. This innovation did not just create the dream, which allows people travel around the world in one day come true but also create a bigger one, travel between the stars. After the Industrial Revolution, fuel is playing a significant role in daily life. It seems the whole world is controlled by oil, which means the conception of airplanes consuming too much fuel is  biased. I think almost every activity on earth is trying to deplete the oil reserves not only airplanes. Trying to prohibit air travel would not help anything. So how to reduce the amount used is the core issue. I believe with the global warming slowly changing the environment, some scientists are dedicated to explore new energy resources like tidal power and solar power to diminish the emission of the green house gases.


On the other hand, I believe trying to ban air travel is impossible because there are so many activities related to it. Since air travel is not only for rich people, everybody can take an airplane to travel the world and do extreme sports. Those entertainments become the most important part in our life. Some of my friends travel to other countries more than three times a year. I have heard about a woman who took the plane to Hong Kong just for Dim Sum and flew back to Taiwan the same day. I know it is a little bit crazy but there is nothing wrong with enjoying life.

Finally, I have read a report about scientists using a solar powered plane to fly around the world. That is amazing. That is what we need to do for all of us. To ban air travel is nonsensical.

Thank you for your reading. Please give me some advice about the article or anything you think I need to know.

Hello Shih Chen,

There are quite a few small mistakes in this essay which spoil it and the format also needs changing. For academic essays it is normal to start by restating the question in your own words and stating your opinion. This is the first paragraph. The second and third paragraphs give reasons for and reasons against supported with evidence/data. The final paragraph summarises the text and restates your opinion.


Hope this helps


Bob

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