Do the advantages of watching trials on TV outweigh the disadvantages?
A week ago, I sat an IELTS test and wrote an essay about this topic. I would like to rewrite it and hope I can get some help from native English speakers.
It has become a commonplace that people from some countries can watch legal trials on TV these days. Even though there are a few negative repercussions of it, I still believe the benefits are far greater.
The most obvious benefit of watching the trial process to the general public is that they may acquire some basic knowledge about crime and learn what behaviour lead to breaking the law so that they are able to defend themselves if necessary. The law usually involve thousands of rules and stipulations , which makes it quite difficult to understand for the ordinary people. By airing the real cases happened in their daily life, citizens possibly get a clear insight into the misconduct and try to avoid committing the same crime in the future. Besides, verdict in front of tons of TV viewers really have a deterrent effect on potential offenders because of the severe punishments on those criminals. There is no denying that sometimes people are not aware that their conducts may contribute to a devastating consequences to them. Therefore, it is necessary to inform the general public of the penalty they have to suffer if they have little knowledge about the sentence.
In addition, in the past, some relatives of plaintiffs claimed that the conviction was unfair and the defendants deserved a more severe punishment. They doubted whether the judge was bribed and gave an unjustified verdict. I personally think this possibility can be reduced significantly since the broadcast of this trial process was introduced because nobody dares to judge unfairly in front of millions of audiences.
On the other hand, the drawbacks of airing a trial process live also need some attention. Living in this civilised society, everyone has their own private right even if they are criminals. Those young defendants who have a high self-esteem may get hurt emotionally when they are on trial.
To sum up, despite a few disadvantages that have negative effect on the accused , I am convinced that these drawbacks are far overshadowed by its benefits.
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 1
0
Do the advantages of watching trials on TV outweigh the disadvantages?
A week ago, I sat an IELTS test and wrote an essay about this topic. I would like to rewrite it and hope I can get some help from native English speakers.It has become a commonplace that people from some countries can watch legal trials on TV these days. Even though there are a few negative repercussions of it, I still believe the benefits are far greater.
The most obvious benefit of watching the trial process to the general public is that they may acquire some basic knowledge about crime and learn what behaviour leads to breaking the law so that they are able to defend themselves if necessary. The law usually involves thousands of rules and stipulations (good word!), which makes it quite difficult to understand for the ordinary people. By airing the real cases happening in their daily life, citizens possibly get a clear insight (the underlined phrase IS ACCEPTABLE, but can be made slightly more smooth. Try: "it is possible for citizens to get a clear insight..." or "citizens can get a clear insight..." both feel a little bit more natural) into the misconduct and try to avoid committing the same crime in the future. Besides, the verdict being (you were missing a verb, so I added "be") in front of tons of TV viewers can really have (you either have to say that it CAN HAVE a deterrent effect, or that it HAS a deterrent effect. You were in between those two options) a deterrent effect on potential offenders because of the severe punishments on those criminals. There is no denying that sometimes people are not aware that their conducts may contribute to have a ("contribute to" again sounds a little unnatural, but isn't technically wrong. I also removed "a" from "a devastating consequences") devastating consequences to them. Therefore, it is necessary to inform the general public of the penalty they have to suffer if they have little knowledge about the sentence. (Try "if they are unaware about/of the sentence" to make it sound more smooth)
In addition, in the past, some relatives of plaintiffs claimed that the conviction was unfair and the defendants deserved a more severe punishment. They doubted whether the judge was bribed and gave an unjustified verdict. I personally think this possibility can be reduced significantly since the broadcast of this trial process was introduced because nobody dares to judge unfairly in front of millions of audiences.
On the other hand, the drawbacks of airing a trial process live also need some attention. Living in this civilized society, everyone has their own private right (try: "right to privacy) even if they are criminals. Those young defendants who have a high self-esteem may get hurt emotionally when they are on trial.
To sum up, despite a few disadvantages that have negative effect on the accused , I am convinced that these drawbacks are far overshadowed (good word!) by its benefits.
Hey! I hope my corrections were helpful, because honestly there wasn't much to fix. There were a few small verb-tense and spelling issues, but it's clear that you have a good grasp of the English language. I also tried to give feedback on making your sentences sound more like a native speaker because you're a good writer and I don't want you to be held back by the little details. Good luck and keep up the good work!
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!
Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!
Start Learning Today
