My day..
Hello..I want to say that today was a good day, like most Sundays it's a rest day but I felt it different today. I think that I watched my window and I saw the sky, a very blue panorama, I saw it and I felt a strangly peace, something very good I have not felt in a good time.
Maybe it was just nostalgia or just deep thoughts from my mind but maybe I watched a new horizon, a new dream or goal and I didn't realize it! The moments of hapiness are very short but that time that it last is something inexplicable.
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Corrections · 5
1
My day.
Hello... Today was a good day. Like most Sundays it was a day of rest. But this day felt different. I looked out of my window and saw the sky, a blue panorama. It gave me a strange sense of peace, a good feeling that I haven't felt in a long time.
Maybe it was just nostalgia or deep thoughts from somewhere in my mind... or maybe I was seeing a new horizon, a new dream or goal and I didn't realize it! Moments of happiness are brief; while they last they aren't always easily understood.
1
My day..
Hello..I want to say that today was a good day, like most Sundays it's a rest day but I feel it is different today. I thought this as i looked out my window and I saw the sky, a very blue panorama, I saw it and I felt strangely at peace, something very good I have not felt in a good time.Maybe it was just nostalgia or just deep thoughts (optional: from my mind) but maybe I watched/ saw a new horizon, a new dream or goal and I didn't realize it! The moments of happiness are very short but when it lasts it is something inexplicable.
Comments:
Past tense - It can be difficult when to use past tense when you are recalling/ remembering something that happened in the past, but also commenting on that event in the present. Which is what you are doing.
I felt it different today - Because you use 'today' you cannot use 'felt' because 'you feel something is different today'. If you wanted to use 'felt' you would have to say 'i felt different yesterday'
I think that I watched my window - Also 'think' and 'watched', a present tense + past tense verb. Instead, use 'thought' instead of 'think' as you are talking about doing something in the past. "I thought this as I ...."
I hope this helps, any questions, feel free to ask :)
0
Your words are nice, and create a strong mood. Poetic language like this is flexible, and my corrections are not necessiarly the only possibility.
The last part (which begins with "... but that time that it last..." I don't quite understand, but I did my best to interpret your words. Maybe you have a different meaning.
Your writing reminds me of an old poem by Robert Frost, "Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening." It's one of my favorites. Like your note, it describes a brief mood, a mix of longing and comfort, but also a bit dark, and expressed with simple language and few words. Google it and see what you think!
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