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test 1,writing task 2 It is essential for children at a young age to develop a correct conscience, which comes from proper parenting. And punishment is an essential and effective approach to keep correct actions remembered. However, punishment is a method but not the purpose. Over punishments will always lead to bad effects. Therefore, I am partly agreed with the statement(which is punishment is necessary). firstly, punishment is very effective. Children who got punished will be afraid of making mistakes again. So bad actions will be effectively avoid when the children have a inappropriate intention. Secondly, punishment is important. Correcting bad behavior when children was at a young age can prevent they from making worse mistakes older. And punishing can help children develop a good quality, which is vital for their entire life. However, over punishment may cause the opposite effection on a child, or even bad influence. No one likes to be punished unreasonably. So when punished inappropriately, a child will not be convinced for his mistake but react the bad behavior to express his dissatisfaction or an act of resistance to the adults.However, there can be worse effects. A child who was long-term punished may get introverted and fear to express his thoughts, which may lead to his failure of life. Also, punishment can express an idea that it is ok for people to bully others who are weaker to a child. That may cause bullying in campuses. To sum up, punishment should be carried out appropriately. It is a good way to award children when they are doing something nice. That will deliver a signal that the opposite act will be discouraged, which reduces the usage of punishment.Also it is better to communicate more with children and teach them to tell right from wrong before inappropriate actions occur. In my opinion, communication, understanding and a good model of the parents will always have better effects than punishment.

Corrections · 2

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test 1,writing task 2

It is essential for children at a young age to develop a correct conscience, which comes from proper parenting. And punishment is an essential and effective approach to keeping correct actions remembered. However, punishment is a method but not the purpose. Over punishment will always lead to bad effects. Therefore, I partly agree with the statement(which is punishment is necessary).


Firstly, punishment is very effective. Children who get punished will be afraid of making the same mistakes again. So bad actions will be effectively avoided when the children have an inappropriate intention. Secondly, punishment is important. Correcting bad behavior when children are at a young age can prevent them from making worse mistakes when they are older. And punishing can help children develop good qualities which are vital for their entire life.


However, over punishment may have the opposite effect on a child, or even a bad influence. No one likes to be punished unreasonably. So when punished inappropriately, a child will not be convinced about his mistake but react with bad behavior to express his dissatisfaction or an act of resistance to the adults. However, there can be worse effects. A child who was  punished long-term may become introverted and be afraid  to express his thoughts, which may lead to his failure in life. Also, punishment can express the idea to a child that it is ok for people to bully others who are weaker. That may cause bullying on campuses.

To sum up, punishment should be carried out appropriately. It is good to reward children when they are doing something nice. That will deliver a signal that the opposite act will be discouraged, which reduces the usage of punishment. Also it is better to communicate more with children and teach them to tell right from wrong before inappropriate actions occur. In my opinion, communication, understanding and a good example from the parents will always have better effects than punishment.


Hello Catkon,

This is a well laid out essay with some really nice language. There are several corrections. I had to take out several words from the second sentence of the last paragraph for it to make good sense although it was correct grammatically.

Make sure you use the correct collocations, it makes the text better.

Nice work


Bob

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