Search from various English teachers...
China flagzhai00
Students are more influenced by teachers than by their friends. With the quicking pace of the morden life and the increasing competitive pressure to the social lives, there are more and more debates about the teenagers' education. Someone consider that students are more influenced by teachers, but some others states that they are more influenced by their friends that played with them. As for this point, my opinion is that students are more likely to be effected by their teachers. First, students spend much more time with their teachers than play with their friends. As we all know that, the duty of students is to study and work hard, so they spend much of the daytime in the classroom. They have various courses to take, and each course require them to focus on the teacher and listen to what the teacher said. Take myself as an example, when I was young, I did not like to eat vegetables, when taken meals, I just ate what I like and what I want to eat. My parents tried to persuade me to obtain various nutrients, but I just did not listen. But one day, on a biology class, the teacher taught us knowladge about our body and the food we need to eat, she also told us that we should eat plenty kinds of food and should not eat what we just liked, or we wii not grow up healthily. I was convienced and after that class, I did not choose food any more, and ate various of vegetables. Even my parents were surprised. Second, as teachers are adults, their words are more effective and convencing than children. When are more likely to trust adults than children, besause they are much older than us,they know more knowledge and have more experience. For example, once when I was a child, I played with my friends, and suddenly we saw a beautiful rainbow, we did not know how it generated.Jack, one of my friends said that because someone flied into the sky and painted it. But that reason could not make us believe him, because we did not see any one else in the sky. Until we were taught physics did we know that it was because the water balls and the light reflecting that caused the rainbow.

Corrections · 3

0

My parents tried to persuade me to obtain various nutrients, but I just did not listen. But one day, on in a biology class, the teacher taught us knowladge about our bodies and the food we need to eat. She also told us that we should eat plenty of different kinds of food and should not just eat what we just liked, or we will not grow up healthily. I was convinced and after that class, I did not choose food I was not a picky eater any more, and ate various of vegetables.OR: ...and ate a variety of vegetables. Even my parents were surprised

Second, as teachers are adults, their words are more effective and convincing than children. When We are more likely to trust adults than children, because they are much older than us, and so they know more knowledge and have more experience.  用逗号来接两个分句时,需要加连词如“and”, "or", "but"等。 For example, once, when I was a child, I played was playing with my friends, and when suddenly we saw a beautiful rainbow, but we did not know how it was generated. Jack, one of my friends, said that it was because someone flied flew into the sky and painted it. But that reason could not make us believe him, because we did not see anyone else in the sky. Until Only when we were taught physics did we know learn that it was because of the water balls droplets and the light reflecting refraction of sunlight that caused the rainbow. rainbows come to be.

Well done! 加油!

0
red=mistakes that need to be corrected=写错了,得改一改

blue=sounds better=听起来更好

green=my comments=注释



With the quickening pace of the modern life and the increasing competitive pressure to the on social lives, there are more and more debates about the teenagers' education. Someone people consider think that students are OR: Some people consider students to be more...more influenced by teachers, but some others states that they are more influenced by their friends that played with them the friends they play with. As for this point, My opinion is that students are more likely to be effected affected by their teachers.

First, students spend much more time with their teachers than play with their friends. OR: "spend much more time working with their teachers than playing with their friends."// When you use a parallel structure like "A and B" or "more A than B", A and B have to be in the same categoy, 如:"名词and名词",“more 形容词 than 形容词” 等。“their teachers” 是名词短语,“playing with their friends”却是分句,不可以放在一起。As we all know that, the duty of students is to study and work hard, so they spend much of the daytime in the classroom. They have various courses to take, and each course requires them to focus on the teacher and listen to what the teacher said.says. Taking myself as an example, when I was young, I did not like to eat vegetables. When taken taking/ I took meals, I just ate what I liked and what I wanted to eat.

Want to progress faster?

Join this learning community and try out free exercises!

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!

Start Learning Today