Corrections · 3
My parents tried to persuade me to obtain various nutrients, but I just did not listen. But one day, on in a biology class, the teacher taught us knowladge about our bodies and the food we need to eat. She also told us that we should eat plenty of different kinds of food and should not just eat what we just liked, or we will not grow up healthily. I was convinced and after that class, I did not choose food I was not a picky eater any more, and ate various of vegetables.OR: ...and ate a variety of vegetables. Even my parents were surprised
Second, as teachers are adults, their words are more effective and convincing than children. When We are more likely to trust adults than children, because they are much older than us, and so they know more knowledge and have more experience. 用逗号来接两个分句时,需要加连词如“and”, "or", "but"等。 For example, once, when I was a child, I played was playing with my friends, and when suddenly we saw a beautiful rainbow, but we did not know how it was generated. Jack, one of my friends, said that it was because someone flied flew into the sky and painted it. But that reason could not make us believe him, because we did not see anyone else in the sky. Until Only when we were taught physics did we know learn that it was because of the water balls droplets and the light reflecting refraction of sunlight that caused the rainbow. rainbows come to be.
Well done! 加油!
blue=sounds better=听起来更好
green=my comments=注释
With the quickening pace of the modern life and the increasing competitive pressure to the on social lives, there are more and more debates about the teenagers' education. Someone people consider think that students are OR: Some people consider students to be more...more influenced by teachers, but some others states that they are more influenced by their friends that played with them the friends they play with. As for this point, My opinion is that students are more likely to be effected affected by their teachers.
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