BBQ on last Sunday Last Sunday we had a BBQ outside . Early morning, my husband and I went to the market to buy some foods,like vegetables,sausages,drumsticks,streaky pork,peas..etc.When we arrived

BBQ on last Sunday

Last Sunday we had a BBQ outside.
Early morning, my husband and I went to the market to buy some food like vegetables ,sausages, drumsticks, streaky pork ,peas, etc. When we returned home, I quickly washed them. My younger brother, Jun, cooked the drumsticks and peas well and marinated the pork. Everything was prepared and then we went to our BBQ.
The children were very happy playing on the vast grassland. We ate so much though we laughed these were unhealthy foods. Jun said we were in a relaxing mood.
Haha! Indeed we were. My husband laid in a hammock, Jun baked food while my older sister and I helped, and the children played in the tent or on grass, while my sister's friend took care of them.
It was a really nice, happy day!

My Comments:

This was very good! I have some comments on the highlighted parts.

Food: Food is never spelled "foods" even when you are buying more than one kind. It's always "food."

Pork: I've never heard of streaky pork but I don't know if that's the wrong thing to say or if it's just not used in American English. I'll have to research it.

Returned: It's better to say "returned" instead of "arrived" because you started the story leaving home and going to the market. So you went to the market and RETURNED home. You would say "arrived" if you were going to a different location. We went to the market and ARRIVED at Jun's house for the BBQ. You "return" to where you started and you "arrive" somewhere different.

Quickly: For this sentence, it's better to use the adverb "quickly" before the verb "washed." I quickly washed them.

Them: Can you clarify what "them" is? Are you washing the food? If so, which food?

The children: Since you're talking about children that are in your family, you would say "the children" to know we're talking about specific children. If you're at a public park and you hear children playing in the grass, then you would say "Children are playing in the vast grassland" because you're not talking about specific children.

Ate: Not eated. Eated is not a word. Ate is the past tense of eat.

Though we laughed...: Not too clear. Are you laughing because the food is unhealthy?

Haha: Aha is better used when you figure something out. "Aha! The murderer is the butler!" "Aha! The answer to the riddle is...". Haha is better here but don't use haha if you're trying to write professionally or for an English test. It's better used on the internet or in dialogue.

Food while my older...: SInce You, your older sister, and Jun were doing the same thing, you can combine this into one part.

If you have more questions, let me know. This was really good and I'm glad you had a good BBQ with your family.

Corrections · 2

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