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China flagIrene Cai
A houseplant is dying. Tell it why it should live. Dear Mint: Do you feel a little bit better now? I’m so sorry for what just happened to you. It was all my fault. I’m a fool! I should have come home earlier. But, trust me! you will get it over. You are a mint. Mints are born to be extremely resistant to harsh environment. Remember the day you were delivered to me? You were tired after a long journey and looked shriveled just like you are now. And I placed you in the soft bed and fed you some clear water. After resting for a night, you recovered. I felt surprised at your strong stem and juicy leaves. Every vein and hair you own was shining. We were friends since then. Every dusk I come to the balcony to see if you are thirsty or not. And every dawn I come to see if the sunshine satisfy you. You know what? I love your smell. That special fragrance is better than any perfume on earth. Please persist My dear friend,. Remember your dream of having a baby? It’ll come true soon for autumn is coming. You will have tiny and cute flowers. And I will collect your baby seeds and plant them around you. You will be a fantastic mom! Aren’t you excited now? Please keep up. Drink the water slowly and have asweet dream tonight. I’m just here. I’ll always be here. Yours, Irene

Corrections · 3

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Part 2

Please persist, My my dear friend. Remember your dream of having a baby? It’ll come true soon, for autumn is coming. You will have tiny and cute cute, tiny little flowers. And I will collect your baby seeds and plant them around you. You will be a fantastic mom! Aren’t you excited now? Please keep your spirit up.  "keep up your spirit/keep your spirit up"=stay optimistic! Don't despair//"keep up"=follow at the same pace as 如:“He runs very fast.  I try to run with him, but I can't keep up”.  "Keep up" also means "maintain", but we don't use it for living things.  如:“If you don't keep up your house, it will fall apart.” Drink the water slowly and have a sweet dream tonight. I’m just here for you. I’ll always be here.
Yours,
Irene

Very well done! 加油!

0

red=mistakes that need to be corrected=写错了,得改一改

blue=sounds better=听起来更好的

green=my comments=注释

Part 1

A houseplant is dying. Tell it why it should live.

Dear Mint:
Do you feel a little bit better now? I’m so sorry for what just happened to you. It was all my fault. I’m a fool! I should have come home earlier.
But trust me! You will get over it. You are a mint. Mints are born to be extremely resistant to harsh environments. Remember the day you were delivered to me? You were tired after a long journey and looked shriveled just like you are now. And I placed you in a soft bed and fed watered you some with clear water. After resting for a night, you recovered. I felt was surprised at by your strong stem and juicy leaves. Every vein and hair you own had was shining. We were have become friends since then. "have become"="become"的过去完成时,意思是“there was a moment between then and now when we became friends” Now, every evening at dusk I come to the balcony to see if you are thirsty or not . Adding "now" makes it clear that the action of the story is changing from the past to the present.  //If you want to use "every" or "each" with a time of day, you have to use "every day at...", "every morning at..", "every evening at...", or "every night at.."如:“Every morning at 6:00, I get on the bus”; "Every day at lunch, I meet Tom." And every morning at dawn I  come to see if the sunshine satisfy you you are getting enough sun/sunshine. You know what? I love your smell. That special fragrance is better than any perfume on earth.

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