Thank you Henrik, sometimes when I think in this way, another thought comes out: Since I am so lucky I shouldn't be so pessmistic. I am wasting the resources! I am hurting people who are in worse situations than me! Why a bad guy like me deserves such good life? (Actually sometimes life is not so good...) It is lucky that it is not the worst situation for me. So... Thank you again, don't worry about me. I could be much stronger than the past.

Good luck!

Thank you very much! I always think it's all my fault. And this thought makes me more depressed... Yeah, you are right. Maybe I should see a therapist. I saw a therapist long time ago and he only offered me some medicine! Sometimes I just feel pulzzed and even don't know the reasons!! I think maybe I should take your advice, thank you.

I think first of all you need to accept yourself and realise that depressions are a normal part of being a human, not a sickness (imo) which is good. What helps me deal with such emptiness is to think about how lucky I'm to be given a new chance everyday to wake up and knowing that there are persons (unfortunately) in a much more difficult situation than I can ever imagine(But still not giving up). And to be grateful for good health. And rather than lay down, grasp that opportunity to do something about it. (The reason why you're feeling that way). To negate all the negative thoughts, simply focus on the few good things that you have and take it from there. :)