About emergency treatment
My little nephew broken his head and had a lot of blood yesterday noon.
At that moment his dad Jun stayed at home with him,
When Jun saw the blood,his mind had gone blank,he used a towel stopped the bleeding and called me.
I drove home fast and pick up them to hospital.....
Look at my little nephew I felt very sad though he had a big simle when I arrived.
At that moment ,I was thinking I would also flurried if I have the same thing.It's necessary to learn some emergency treatment.Just like empyrosis、falls、cuts......
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Corrections · 4
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About emergency treatment
My little nephew broken hurt his head and had a lot of blood yesterday afternoon.At that moment When it happened his dad Jun stayed at home with him,.
When Jun saw the blood, his mind had gone blank he felt dizzy and lightheaded, he used a towel stopped the bleeding and called me.
I drove home fast and pick up to take them to hospital.....
Look at I felt very sad for my little nephew, I felt very sad though he had a big simle smile when I arrived.
At that moment When it happened, I was thinking I would have also flurried panicked if I have experienced the same thing. It's necessary to learn some emergency treatment. Just like empyrosis、falls、cuts......etc.
Hi Rita! I'm sorry about your nephew but it sounds like he's a strong little boy..
Here are some corrections:
- Try to proof read your sentences to make sure they make complete sense. (...At that moment his dad / ...When it happened his dad)
- Use adjectives (describing words) to express yourself or a situation. (...his mind had gone blank / ...he felt dizzy and lightheaded)
- I recommend that you practice new vocabulary such as nouns and adjectives where you can form more structured sentences.
I hope this helps you :)
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About emergency treatment
My little nephew hurt his head and bled a lot yesterday afternoon.At that moment his dad Jun stayed at home with him.
When Jun saw the blood his mind went blank. He used a towel to stop the bleeding and called me.
I drove home fast and picked them up for hospital.....
Looking at my little nephew, I felt very sad though he had a big smile when I arrived.
Then I was thinking I would also be worried if I had the same thing. It's necessary to learn some emergency treatment. Just like empyrosis(?), falls and cuts..
Very well written!
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yah i am agree with you
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