WOULD YOU CORRECT MY ESSAY, PLEASE? :)
"Young people enjoy life better than older people"
Life is an unexpected adventure, that is why we need to enjoy and make it happier for everyone. Adults usually live their life inmerse in what the world offers them to become "safe and stable". However, younger people still have the courage to leave the rutine and discover life just as we all want, freedomly.
First of all, young people always have expectations and desires to conquer the world, go further and discover the meaning of life. This motivations lead them to work hard in every opportunity they find. On the other hand, older people are already tired by the rutine, the dissapointments, the gols not achieve or proyects unfinished. This negative mood, stop them to believe in new opportunities and not allow them to leave their stable form of life and go out to discover new experiences that could reniew their life.
Secondly, young people do not have formal commitments (raise a home, work for paying bills or educate childrens), therefore they find easier to save money and make plans for the near future, for example go travelling, do a volunteer, find new hobbies, study different courses, etc. In that way, they can enjoy life better than adults, because older people have to make sacrifices for their families, an altruist form of always think first for the ones they care, over what he or she needs.
Finally, younger people enjoy better life than adults, because they feel life is just starting for them. They do not have fear of making mistakes, on the contrary, they are willing on taking chances to discover life, and mistakes will remember them on how to become a better person. However, life is different for adults, they can not allow them to make more mistakes, they feel against the clock, not able to take a break and pursue what they dream, they preffer the security of the path they chose and keep walking through it, even if it does not make them as happy as they wish to.
In conclusion, young people have more freedom to enjoy life as they want to, and are more coragous than adults to take risk on new experiences, because in resume they are willing to loose or gain instead of never try.
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Corrections · 5
0
WOULD YOU CORRECT MY ESSAY, PLEASE? :)
"Young people enjoy life better than older people"Life is an unexpected adventure, that is why we need to enjoy it and make it happier for everyone. Adults usually live their lives immersed in what the world offers for them to be "safe and stable". However, younger people still have the courage to leave the routine and discover life just as we all want; with freedom.
First of all, young people always have expectations and desires to conquer the world, to move ahead, and discover the meaning of life. This motivation leads them to work hard in every opportunity they find. On the other hand, older people are already tired by the routine, the dissappointments, the goals not achieved, and unfinished projects. This negative attitude, stops them from believing in new opportunities and does not allow them to leave their stable form of life and go out to discover new experiences that could renew their life.
Secondly, young people do not have formal commitments such as (caring for a home, working at paying bills, or educating their children). Therefore, they find it easier to save money and make plans for the near future. For example, they can: go traveling, do volunteer work, find new hobbies, and study different courses, etc. In that way, they can enjoy life better than adults, because older people have to make sacrifices for their families; an altruist form of always thinking first about the ones they care for rather than what they need.
Finally, younger people enjoy life better than adults, because they feel life is just starting for them. They do not have a fear of making mistakes. On the contrary, they are willing to take chances to discover life, and making mistakes will teach them how to become a better person. However, life is different for adults. They can not allow themselves to make more mistakes. They feel the clock is running out on them and they are not able to take a break and pursue what they dream. They prefer the security of the path they have chosen and keep walking on it, even if it does not make them as happy as they wish to.
In conclusion, young people have more freedom to enjoy life as they want to, and are more courageous than adults to discover new experiences, because they are willing to lose or gain instead of never try.
0
WOULD YOU CORRECT MY ESSAY, PLEASE? :)
"Young people enjoy life better than older people"Life is an unexpected adventure which is why we need to enjoy it and make it happier for everyone. Adults usually live their lives immersed in what the world offers them to become "safe and stable". However, younger people still have the courage to leave the routine and discover life just as we all would like, with freedom.
First of all, young people always have expectations and desires to conquer the world, and to go further and discover the meaning of life. This motivates them to work hard in every thing they do. On the other hand, older people are already tired by the routine, the disappointments, the goals not achieved or projects unfinished. This negative mood stops them to believe in new opportunities and does not allow them to leave their stable form of life and discover new experiences that could renew their life.
Secondly, young people do not have formal commitments (of making a home, to work to pay bills or educate their children), therefore they find it easier to save money and to make plans for the near future. For example they can travel, volunteer, find new hobbies, study different courses, etc. Thus they can enjoy life better than adults, because older people have to make sacrifices for their families, an altruistic form of always thinking first for the ones they care, over what they need.
Finally, younger people enjoy better life than adults, because they feel life is just starting for them. They do not fear to make mistakes. On the contrary, they are willing on taking chances to discover life, and mistakes will teach them how to become a better person. However, life is different for adults, and does not allow them to make more mistakes. They feel they are against the clock, not able to take a break and pursue what they dream and they prefer the security of the path they chose and to keep walking it, even if it does not make them as happy as they would like.
In conclusion, young people have more freedom to enjoy life as they please, and are more courageous than adults to take risks because in short they are willing to loose or gain instead of never to try.
Very well written!
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