My fourth short essay
Essay request: Some people think that financial disparity affects friendship. What do you think? Write an essay about it. You should supply an appropriate title for your essay.
( I think my essay reflects wrong values, but I still want to make it better written. P.S It's always more of a struggle for me to think about the essay points than to use better expressions, and I don't know how to improve that .:((
My essay:
Financial Disparity Affects Friendship
Some people may think that friendship is nothing to do with financial conditions. But in my opinion, just as the locations of our houses and consumption levels diverge according to our incomes, so too who we friend is aligned with how much we earn.
What water is to fish, communication is to friendship, but due to financial disparity, the dwindling common topics between the two individuals get in the way of communication. What the one takes seriously concerns of may be what the other rarely cares about. Besides, people live in different districts because of different house prices. People of financial disparity usually live far from each other, which makes it more inconvenient to see each other. Furthermore, activities they are interested in and able to afford can be fewer and fewer.This hinders them more chances to be closer.
As Oscar Wilde once said, " romance is the privilege of the rich, not the profession of the unemployed." Financial disparity means different concerns, interests, and entertainments people have in their life, so it does affects friendship.
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Corrections · 8
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My fourth short essay
red=mistakes that need to be corrected=写错了，得改一改
blue=sounds better=听起来更好
green=my comments=注释
( I think my essay reflects bad values, but I still want to make it better-written (在这里，"better-written" 是“compound adjective”, 应该用“-”子来接词). P.S It's always more of a struggle for me to think about the essay points than to use better expressions, and I don't know how to improve that .:((
My essay:
Financial Disparity Affects Friendship
Some people may think that friendship has nothing to do with financial conditions. But in my opinion, just as the locations of our houses and consumption levels diverge according to our incomes, so too who we befriend is aligned with how much we earn. ("friend"平常是名词，谈社交网络时可以用成动词（如： “I friended him on Facebook”）, 可是谈网外的真真的世界时，应该用“befriend”这个动词)
What water is to fish, communication is to friendship, but due to financial disparities, the reduced number of common topics between the two individuals gets in the way of communication. "dwindling"=越来越少； “reduced”=比较少What the one takes seriously concerns of may be what the other rarely cares about. Besides, people live in different areas because of different house prices. "District" refers to formal lines drawn by a government: "I live in Georgia's ninth congressional district". People at disparate financial levels usually live far from each other, which makes it more inconvenient to see each other. Furthermore, activities they are both interested in and able to afford can be relatively rare. Fewer and fewer means that at one point there were a lot. "I used to have a lot of pieces of candy, but I've been eating them, so now I have fewer and fewer each minute". This prevents them from having many chances to be closer.
As Oscar Wilde once said, " romance is the privilege of the rich, not the profession of the unemployed." Financial disparity leads to different concerns, interests, and entertainments people have in their life, so it does affects friendship.
Very well-written! Good job!
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Cool point, Michael , you give me a new way to deal with my pessimism. But I'm afraid I fail to understand what you mean by the internationalism young people part?
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Ooo interesting, I like both your ideas. You hit right at the heart of the question going to communication as they key cause of affecting a friendship. Your immediate thought was towards the negative. Maybe you could come at it from another direction, financial disparity "affects" friendship in a positive way because it can bring both sides of the friendship to experience things neither of them would normally experience so they will become even closer. How do you think the internationalisation of young people will affect this? It seems as if richer young people have more chances to meet other young people from other countries so perhaps they will have more global experience and become better leaders, and become richer?
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T. T
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Well said , Donald !
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