9/12/2016

Under the lovely morning sun, after the organizer brandished the flag in his hand* and fired the starter pistol. The runners jostled each other and started to race raced* towards the finishing line, I was one of them.
I ran as fast as my leg can could carry me. The wind that brushed my face and thrilled me. After a mile, I started panting; I felt my legs were My legs felt heavier. (More and more)** runners caught up to me and bypassed me and overtook passed*** me. One by one, they disappeared from eye-sight.
From the tar**** road, the route course* extended continued into a woodland, where the track it became bumpier. The golden sunlight spilled through the slits between the leaves. A cacophony of insects and birds welcomed me into their territoriesy. Yet*, I was not in the mood to enjoy this. I lumbered through the woodlands. I could felt my lung was It felt like my lungs were about to burst and my legs were going to give way out.
The track course led me to a beach. The beach stretched like an undulating canvas with a trail of footsteps imprinted on it. At this time, I had no sight of could not see other runners the other runners were out of sight.(or "I could not see the other runners"). Volunteers along the track course cheered me up*. My foot feet sank into the sand again and again and it was difficult to lift them up. I floundered along the beach. My body mass weight* was pressing me down, I felt like I was walking on a high-gravity planet.
Finally, I reached the finishing line and I realized I was one of the last persons runners who arrived (I think "last runners to arrive" sounds better). All the T-shirts was collected were taken*, except for XXL size, which is too big for my petite body.
I guess this is my last attempt at a marathon. I kept the oversized T-shirt for/as a souvenir.

9/12/2016

Under the lovely morning sun, after the organizer brandished the flag in his hand and fired the starter pistol, the runners jostled each other and started to race towards the finishing line. I was one of them.
I ran as fast as my legs can carry me. The wind that brushed my face thrilled me. After a mile, I started panting; I felt my legs were heavier. More and more runners caught up with me, bypassed me and overtook me. One by one they disappeared from my eyesight.
From the tar road, the route extended into a woodland, where the track became bumpier. The golden sunlight spilled through the slit of the leaves. A cacophony of insects and birds welcomed me into their territories. I was not in the mood to enjoy this. I lumbered through. the woodlands. I could feel my lung was about to burst, my legs were going to give way.
The track led me to a beach. The beach stretched like an undulating canvas with a trail of footsteps imprinted on it. At this time, I had no sight of other runners. Volunteers along the track cheered me up. My foot sank into the sand again and again and it is difficult to lift them up. I floundered along the beach. My body mass was pressing me down, I felt I was walking on a high-gravity planet.
Finally, I reached the finishing line, I realized I was one of the last persons who arrived. All the T-shirt was collected, except for XXL size, which is too big for my petite body.
I guess this is my last attempt for a marathon. I kept the oversized T-shirt for a souvenir.

9/12/2016

Under the lovely morning sun, after the organizer brandished the flag in his hand and fired the starter pistol, the runners jostled each other and started to race towards the finishing line. I was one of them.
I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. The wind that brushed my face thrilled me. After a mile, I started panting; I felt my legs were heavier. More and more runners caught up to me, bypassed me and overtook me. One by one they disappeared from my eye-sight.
From the tar road, the route extended into a woodland, where the track became bumpier. The golden sunlight spilled through the slits between the leaves. A cacophony of insects and birds welcomed me into their territories. I was not in the mood to enjoy this. I lumbered through the woodland. I could feel my lungs were about to burst, and my legs were going to give way.
The track led me to a beach. The beach stretched like an undulating canvas with a trail of footsteps imprinted on it. At this time, I had no sight of  could see no other runners. Volunteers along the track cheered me up. My feet sank into the sand again and again and it was difficult to lift them up. I floundered along the beach. My body mass was pressing me down; I felt like I was walking on a high-gravity planet.
Finally, when I reached the finishing line, I realized I was one of the last persons who arrived. All the T-shirts were collected, except for XXL size, which is too big for my petite body.
I guess this is my last attempt at a marathon. I kept the oversized T-shirt for a souvenir.

Good job! You should be proud of your run - just finishing is more than most people can do.  Nice and descriptive writing, just watch out for words that should be plural.

9/12/2016

Under the lovely morning sun, after the organizer brandished the flag in his hand and fired the starter pistol, the runners jostled each other and started to race towards the finishing line. I was one of them.
I ran as fast as my leg could carry me. The wind that brushed my face thrilled me. After a mile, I started panting; I felt my legs were heavier. More and more runners caught up to me, bypassed me and overtook me.* One by one they disappeared from my eyesight.
From the tar road, the route extended into a woodland, where the track became bumpier. The golden sunlight spilled through the slits in the leaves. A cacophony of insects and birds welcomed me into their territories. I was not in the mood to enjoy this and lumbered through woodland. I could felt my lungs were about to burst and my legs were going to give way.
The track led me to a beach. The beach stretched like an undulating canvas with a trail of footsteps imprinted on it. Now had no sight of other runners. Volunteers along the track cheered me up. My feet sank into the sand again and again and it was difficult to lift them up. I floundered along the beach. My body mass was pressing me down. I felt I was walking on a high-gravity planet.
Finally, I reached the finishing line, I realized I was one of the last persons who arrived. All the T-shirts were collected, except for XXL size, which was too big for my petite body.
I guess this is my last attempt for a marathon. I kept the oversized T-shirt for a souvenir.

*or, .... caught up to, bypassed and overtook me.

Very well written! I hope you run some more marathons. Or at least 5km.