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A formal letter for application (pls, help me) Dear Mr. Jackson, In response to your advertisement in "Caribbean Teen" dated on 15 December 2016， I would like to apply to this position. Beside of that, I want to ask U some questions. My name is Yueming and I am 20 years old. One of my hobbies is cooking. When I was a kid, I loved to cook so much. I have worked as a chef at my father's restaurant for 3 years now and I could tell U that I am a experienced chef. I could speak Dutch and Spanish fluently., but sadly my English is poor. I could speak different sorts of Chinese , for example : Mandarin and Cantonese. I know that U have many Chinese clients, so I can communicate with them easily and I know exactly what they want to order. I will be appreciated if U could answer the following questions. How much is the monthly salary for this job? How long is the work-hour? Is there any empty rooms that I can live in for free? How about the insurance? I am asking these questions because I really need this job. I hope my application will be successful in gaining me an interview. Yours sincerely, Yueming

Corrections · 6

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A formal letter for application (please, help me)

Dear Mr. Jackson,

In response to your advertisement in "Caribbean Teen" dated on 15 December 2016， I would like to apply for this position. Besides of that I want to ask you some questions. ("I would like to ask you some questions" is more acceptable)

My name is Yueming and I am 20 years old. One of my hobbies is cooking. When I was a kid, I loved to cook so much.
I have worked as a chef at my father's restaurant for 3 years now and I could tell you that I am an experienced chef.

I am able to speak  Dutch and Spanish fluently., but sadly my English is poor weak. I also speak different dialects of Chinese , for example : Mandarin and Cantonese. I know that you have many Chinese clients, so I can communicate with them easily and I know exactly what they want to order.

I would appreciated it if you could answer the following questions.
How much is the monthly salary for this job?
How long is the work day?
Are there any empty rooms that I can live in for free?
How about insurance? (Do you offer any insurance?)
I am asking these questions because I am really interested in need this job.

I hope my application, my language skills and past working experience will gain me an interview.

Yours sincerely,

Yueming


**********I didn't know if you are actually applying for this job. If so, I made some corrections to make your application more positive.

The only problem is when you said your English is poor and I changed it to weak. You can also say something about you might like to strengthen your English language skills which would be more positive.

Don't use "U" which is really texting language. In official correspondence please use "you." Nice job. Keep up the good work.



1

A formal letter for application (pls, help me)

Dear Mr. Jackson,

In response to your advertisement in "Caribbean Teen" dated on 15 December 2016， I would like to apply to this position. Also, I want to ask  you some questions.

My name is Yueming and I am 20 years old. One of my hobbies is cooking. When I was a child, I loved to cook so much.
I have worked as a chef at my father's restaurant for 3 years now and I could tell you that I am an experienced chef.

I can speak Dutch and Spanish fluently, but sadly my English is poor. I can also speak Mandarin and Cantonese. I understand that you have many Chinese clients, so I can communicate with them easily and I know exactly what they want to order.

I would appreciate it if you could answer the following questions.
How much is the monthly salary for this job?
What are the hours?
Is there any empty rooms that I can live in for free?
How about the insurance?
I am asking these questions because I really need this job.

I hope my application will be successful in gaining me an interview.

Yours sincerely,

Yueming
0
why?
0
没有错误，但是我觉得你该排除"I am asking these questions because I really need this job".

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