Dear Ms. GL,

I am writing to express my interest in L com’s current opening for a legal counsel. I was referred by S from PS; she tells me any conflict of interest has been cleared.

I am a lawyer currently working for a prestigious regional firm in Guangzhou. I’ve been working with this firm for over 6 years and I have gained considerable legal experiences specific to the Peoples Republic of China, in a wide range of areas, e.g; general corporate, listings and acquisitions, dispute resolutions, employment, and securities.

I really enjoy working with my current firm, but I’m hoping to step outside of my comfortable zone and embrace new challenges. L com is a world-famous company, after reading the posted JD, I think my experiences as well as my personality will make me an ideal candidate for this position. Therefore, as suggested by S, I’m attaching my CV and deal sheet for your review.

Thank you for taking the time to read my application. I would be very happy to fly to Shanghai for an interview at your convenience.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you and kind regards,

This is very good.  

Following are a few notes specific to a formal business letter:

1. Avoid the use of contractions in a business letter.  Contractions tend to be less formal.

2. Use proper punctuation instead of ()

3. GZ, P.R.C should be written out.  The reader should not have to guess what you are talking about.  For example; “JD” probably stands for job description; but, why should I guess.

I think “ If L com is interested in considering me for this legal counsel positions,” should be more positive. Starting with “If” tells me you are unsure of yourself.  I think removing this sentence makes a stronger, more positive conclusion to the letter.

I have seen this used before; “Have a lovely weekend!”; but, I don’t really think it is appropriate because you really don’t know when the letter will be read.  

“L com is a world-famous company,” this is really the only reason given as to why you want to work for L com. What else do you like about the company?  Why do you think working for them will be an interesting challenge?