Invented story Past and past continuous
One day last week I was sitting in café in the market square while my parents were shopping in greengrocer’s. The weather was really awesome so I decided to sit outside. There were a lot of kids, they were playing each other while I was reading a interesting book about business motivation. Suddenly a rare man came into my table and offered me a newspaper, I felt surprised and I said him that I didn’t want the newspaper. He didn’t say nothing more and left the table. Why did happen that? I thought…. A few seconds later, I tried to catch my mobile phone but I didn’t find it. He stole my mobile phone while I was saying him that I didn’t want the newspaper.
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Corrections · 6
1
Invented story Past and past continuous
One day last week I was sitting in a café in the market square while my parents were shopping at the grocery store. The weather was really awesome so I decided to sit outside. There were a lot of kids, they were playing with each other while I was reading an interesting book about business motivation. Suddenly, a rare strange? man came into my table and offered me a newspaper. I felt surprised and I said to him that I didn’t want the newspaper. He didn’t say anything else and left the table. "Why did that happen that?" I thought. A few seconds later, I tried to find my mobile phone, but I couldn't find it. He stole my mobile phone while I was telling him that I didn’t want the newspaper!Note:
"they were playing each other" would usually be used when referencing an organized game. For instance, "Katie and Allison are on different hockey teams. They are playing each other next Tuesday." If the kids are just running around and playing, they are "playing with each other".
"A rare man" doesn't quite make sense. He could be strange/weird/odd (all of these have a negative connotation).
Nice work! I could understand your story perfectly!
1
Invented story Past and past continuous
One day last week I was sitting in café in the market square while my parents were shopping in the greengrocer’s. The weather was really awesome so I decided to sit outside. There were a lot of kids and they were playing with each other while I was reading a interesting book about business motivation. Suddenly a stranger came into my table and offered me a newspaper. I felt surprised and I said that I didn’t want the newspaper. He didn’t say nothing more and left the table. Why did this happen? I thought about it and a few seconds later I tried to find my mobile phone but I couldn't (didn't)find it. He had stolen my mobile phone while I was telling him that I didn’t want the newspaper.1
Invented story Past (should be lowercase) and past continuous
One day last week I was sitting in café (no accent needed) in the market square while my parents were shopping in greengrocer’s (proper noun, should be capitalized). The weather was really awesome so I decided to sit outside. There were a lot of kids, they were playing with each other while I was reading an interesting book about business motivation. Suddenly a rare (this is a strange adjective to describe a person, in english we wouldn’t say this normally) man came to my table and offered me a newspaper, I felt surprised and I said to him that I didn’t want the newspaper. He didn’t say anything more and left the table. Why did happen that? I thought…. A few seconds later, I tried to find my mobile phone but I couldn’t find it. He stole my mobile phone while I was telling him that I didn’t want the newspaper.
Hello! This was really good, only a few minor mistakes! Good job! Sorry about the poor formatting of the correction, but for some reason the correction tools of italki aren't working right now, so I did it in Word and pasted it over.
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