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China flag肖泓钰
shopping in Internet Shopping in Internet makes me happy.When i buy some good and new things，i can not wait to share with my parents.Though sometimes i should save money，though sometimes i maybe have a bad shopping experience.Shopping in Internet is convenient.I think Internet shopping will appeal more attention.

Corrections · 2

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Shopping in on the Internet

Shopping in on the Internet makes me happy. When I buy some good and new and cool things, I cannot wait to share tell with my parents. Though Although sometimes I should save money. though Sometimes I maybe have a bad shopping experience. Shopping in on the Internet is convenient. I think Internet shopping online shopping will appeal  attract more attention.

Synonyms for attract: get, receive

get more attention

receive more attention

Instead of "shopping on the internet", it's more natural to say "shopping online"

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shopping in Internet (preposition)

Shopping in Internet makes me happy.When i buy some good and new (phrasing) things, i can not wait to share with my parents.Though sometimes i should save money，though sometimes (repetition) i maybe have a bad shopping experience.Shopping in Internet is convenient.I think Internet shopping will appeal more attention. (unclear)


Here is a suggested alternative:


Shopping on the internet

Shopping on the internet makes me happy; it's so convenient! When I buy something new, I can't wait to share it with my parents. Sometimes though, I don't have such a good experience; things I order can be late or not what I expected. 

I think Internet shopping will appeal more attention. (not sure what you mean)

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