THE BRAVEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE. (An invented story) When i was a child, about 7 years old. I was in the park playing with other children. I was having a lot of fun, but then i felt thirsty so i decid

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Nadia

THE BRAVEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE. (An invented story) When i was a child, about 7 years old. I was in the park playing with other children. I was having a lot of fun, but then i felt thirsty so i decided to go to the little bar in the park and buy a bottle of water. When i was paying, i saw a men who was wearing a black jacket and a black hat in full summer! He was very suspicious. I went back to play with other children and the man kicked off by following me. I was scared stiff. However i decided to forget it and keep on playing with my friends. The man sat down on a bench and he carried on watching me that i was playing. As i wasn't a stupid child, i understood the man's intentions so i went by running to the bar and i bought an ice-cream. Then i approached to the bench and i gave him the ice-cream. He smiled and he whispered "stupid baby girl" . Now, i'm 23 years old and i remember very welll that moment of my life. He was a child molester , maybe a rapist who was watching carefully to the child he would have chose. I thing i was very lucky but at the same time very brave to have dealt with these sort of people.

Corrections · 2

THE BRAVEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE. (An invented story) - not sure what you mean by inverted story.

When i I was a child, about 7 years old. This a fragment. Ignoring style issues: When I was a child, about 7 years old, I was playing with other children and... . I was in the park playing with other children. I was having a lot of fun, but then i felt thirsty, so i I decided to go to the little bar (Word choice?) in the park and ("..park to buy..." also works and changes your style a bit) buy a bottle of water. When i was paying, i saw a men Man (men = plural. Man = singular) who was wearing (While technically correct it reads better with other variations "I saw a man in a..." or "I saw a man wearing a...") a black jacket and a black hat in full summer! He was very suspicious.
I went back to play with other children and the man kicked off (This is a phrase in English, just... I wouldn't use it here. It is a good phrase to use in a sentence like this I would just reword the sentence though to make it. "But then, things really kicked off when I went back to play with the other children. He had followed me" or something like that- I am not a fan of my edit though) by following me. I was scared stiff. However, i decided to forget it (again technically correct, but this is an unclear pronoun, while you are obviously referring back to the man, grammatically this could be your emotional state ("scared stiff"), the fact he followed you, or the other children. It is good to get into the habit of using clear pronouns) and keep kept on playing with my friends. The man sat down on a bench and he carried on watching me that while (or whilst) i was playing.
As i wasn't a stupid child, i understood the man's intentions so i went by ("the man" or remove "went by" and change it to "I ran to..") running to the bar and i bought an ice-cream.
Then i approached to the bench and i gave him the ice cream. He smiled and he whispered, "Stupid baby girl" . (this is tricky. American English, "Stupid baby girl." British English, 'Stupid baby girl'.)
Now, i'm 23 years old and i remember very well that moment of my life. He was a child molester, and (or molester; maybe) maybe a rapist who was watching carefully to the child he would have chose.
I think i was very lucky and at the same time very brave in dealing with these sort of people.

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