Search from various English teachers...
Brazil flagGabriel
email Hi, there I am emailing a tourism agency about a trip to Boston two months from now. I would like to know if you could proofread it for me. I am kind of acquainted with the person I am emailing, so it is a more or less informal email. Here it is: Hi, Peter, how are you? I was in your agency some time ago to close the deal on our one-month stay in Boston and we arranged to meet late this week to go over the final details of my travel insurance and see about the flight date change. As I told you before, I would like to move up the date of my flights two days. I would like to change the dates of both my outbound flight and my return flight. Will it be possible for us to meet this week as agreed? Please, get back to me as soon as possible. Best regards, Gabriel Could you help me? Thank you!!

Corrections · 4

0

email

Hi, there

I am emailing a tourism agency about a trip to Boston two months from now. I would like to know if you could proofread it for me. I am kind of acquainted with the person I am emailing, so it is a more or less informal email.

Here it is:



Hi, Peter, how are you? I was in your agency some time ago to complete the arrangements on our one-month stay in Boston and we scheduled to meet late this week to go over the final details of my travel insurance and see about the flight date change. As I told you before, I would like to move up the date of my flights by two days, those being the dates of both my outbound flight and my return flight. Will it be possible for us to meet this week as agreed? Please, get back to me as soon as possible.

Best regards,

Gabriel


Could you help me?

Thank you!!

Sealing the deal sounds too much like it is a big financial transaction...Trump style.

I made one other adjustment in the sentence regarding the changed flight dates.

0
Thank you so much, Gerret!! What if I said "bring forward the dates of my flights two days"? Other than these two points, did you spot any other errors or problems with the style? Something odd? Maybe "I would like to change the dates of both my outbound flight and my return flight" or "see about the flight date change"?
0
Pretty good, Gabriel, but there are a couple of points, mainly on the style. 1) Avoid using 'and' more than once in a sentence. It is better style to use it once, then create a new sentence where the second 'and ' goes. 2) I am not sure on the american English, but in Britain, you would not use the word 'up', relating to changing the dates. 'Forward' or ' back' is more likely to be used. Hope this helps.

Want to progress faster?

Join this learning community and try out free exercises!

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!

Start Learning Today