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Colombia flagKatherin
Help! I'm trapped in a vampire's body! Could you please correct this? Jake’s party is crashed by Andy’s enemy, Barry. Who throw out raw eggs and toilet paper around Jake’s house. As night passes he begins feeling weird. Like, all heavy, slow, thirsty, cold and dizzy. Not long afterward, Andy and Josh decide to go back to school with Jake, to look for the DITS, it is the only chance to change back Jake’s body. But vampires cannot go out in the sun. So, he uses sunblock all over his body, a coat, gloves, a scarf and a hat. Once they arrive at school, Vlad is happy with his new body, considering that he can take sun without got burn and he does not feel the necessity to bit people on the neck and drink their blood. Jake assimilates that he has to learn to live with it. Therefore, Andy and Josh decide to switch the vampire out of Jake and into a cross–eyed cow, which belongs to the shed’s school. At first something is wrong. They switched Jake with the cross-eyed cow. But then, things go well. Finally Jake manages to get out the vampire within him, and he becomes at the same guy as before.

Corrections · 2

1

I'm not sure whether you want present tense for this story, or past tense?  


Jake’s party is crashed by Andy’s enemy, Barry. Who is throwing throw out raw eggs and toilet paper around Jake’s house. As the night passes continues he begins feeling weird(Better: begins to feel weird). Like, all heavy, slow, thirsty, cold and dizzy. Not long afterward, Andy and Josh decide to go back to school with Jake, to look for the DITS, it is the only chance to change back Jake’s body.

But vampires cannot go out in the sun. So, he uses sunblock all over his body, a coat, gloves, a scarf and a hat. Once they arrive at school, Vlad is happy with his new body, considering that he can take go out in the sun without got burning and he does not feel the necessity to bite people on the neck and drink their blood. Jake assimilates that he has to learn to live with it.

Therefore, Andy and Josh decide to switch the vampire out of Jake and into a cross–eyed cow, which belongs to the shed’s school(Do you mean belongs to the school's shed?). At first something wentis wrong: they switched Jake with the cross-eyed cow. But then, things go well. Finally Jake manages to get out the vampire within him out, and he becomes at the same guy as before.

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