2016.5.8 My first essey
I'm new. it's my first essay. and I don't know what to write. i just want to improve my writing .
I bought a personal computer few days ago. Maybe I could come here every day.
Now, I know what to say. I'll write down how my fellings is about I have a computer.
I'm a student, so I bought it to help my schooling.but also I want to listen musics, watch movies,play games.when I play my computer a lot, I will become anxious. I am worried about my homework.I am afraid that I can't finish my homework because I spend so much time playing computer.On the other hand , if you ask me to do my homework, I can't pay my full attention to it.
It's my feelings.
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Corrections · 2
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2016.5.8 My first essay
I'm new. It's my first essay and I don't know what to write. I just want to improve my writing .I bought a personal computer a few days ago. Now, maybe I could come here every day.
Now, I know what to say. I'll write down my thoughts about having a computer.
I'm a student, so I bought it to help my schooling but also I want to listen to music, watch movies and play games. When I play my on my computer a lot, I will become anxious. I am worried about my homework. I am afraid that I can't finish my homework because I spend so much time playing on the computer. On the other hand, if you ask me to do my homework, I can't give my full attention to it.
They are my feelings.*
*better, They are my thoughts.
Very well written!
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