America's Early Movie Industry
The movie industry has become profitable as film devices were invented and the concept of film exchange was created. At first, motion pictures could only serve one audience at a time. However, the advent of projection and large film images evoked expansion of the film industry. Early films were very short and relatvely cheap. Thus, traditional theaters were able to purchase a whole movie outright from the film producers. However, as time goes by, longer films were produced and the audience wanted to see more variety in the theaters. Consequently, a new business model "film exchange" was started. The film exchanges funded movie producers and bought many films from them. Then, they rented the films to the theater owners. This benefited producers, theater owners, and audience as they could enjoy a wide variety of high quality movies. Although film exchanges were replaced by large movie distributors by 1920, it is certain that the film exchanges played a significant role in the development of the film industry.
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Corrections · 7
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America's Early Movie Industry
The movie industry became profitable as has become profitable as film devices "more efficient filming devices" were invented and the concept of film exchange was created. At first, motion pictures could only serve one audience at a time. However, the advent of projection and large "long form" films images evoked gave rise to an expansion of the film industry. Early films were very short and relatively cheap. Thus, traditional theaters were able to purchase a whole movie outright from the film producers. However, as time goes went by, longer films were produced and the audiences wanted to see more variety in the theaters. Consequently, a new business model "film exchange" was started. The film exchanges funded movie producers and bought many films from them. Then, they rented the films out to the theater owners. This benefited producers, theater owners, and especially audiences as they could enjoy a wide variety of high quality movies. Although film exchanges were replaced by large movie distributors by 1920, it is certain that the film exchanges played a significant role in the development of the film industry.
has become profitable as: "Has become _______ as _________" This is a grammatical form used to express a 'recent' change. You can tell by the 'has'.
film devices: this is not specific enough. There are many things that 'film devices' could refer to, especially because it has to be something that made the 'movie industry' profitable, not possible. In this sentence, I would assume you are talking about a specific 'device' which made making films cheaper or more widely available. "filming devices" is a device that you "film" with. It is the difference between the noun and the verb.
large film images: I don't know what you mean by this.
evoke: this can mean "to call forth", but it is used specifically with emotions or an emotional response. It is not used for the invention or something.
especially: your 'reason' is exclusive to the audiences, so it is best to show that. The grammar makes it seem like you are saying "Producers could enjoy a wide variety of movies, theater owners could enjoy a wide variety..., and audiences could..."
Great work as always.
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America's Early Movie Industry
The movie industry has become profitable as film devices were invented and the concept of film exchange was created. At first, motion pictures could only serve one audience at a time. However, the advent of projection and large film images evoked expansion of the film industry. Early films were very short and relatvely ⇒ relatively cheap. Thus, traditional theaters were able to purchase a whole movie outright from the film producers. However, as time goes by, longer films were produced and the audience wanted to see more variety in the theaters. Consequently, a new business model "film exchange" was started. The film exchanges funded movie producers and bought many films from them. Then, they rented the films to the theater owners. This benefited producers, theater owners, and audience as they could enjoy a wide variety of high quality movies. Although film exchanges were replaced by large movie distributors by 1920, it is certain that the film exchanges played a significant role in the development of the film industry.0
영어 정말 잘하시네용 :) 팁좀 ....실력이 제자리라서 ....노력도 잘 안하지만 ㅋ 글쓰는 능력이 이정도가 되었으면 좋겠어요
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It is a big problem. Some movie distributors (Lotte for example) actually own a lots of theaters which doesn't help.
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Don't you think that monopolization in film industry is a big problem in Korea?
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