PLEASE CORRECT MY ESSAY! #2
In our modern world young people want to become independent persons as quickly as possible. The best way to do it - to get a job. Some youth think that people should concentrate on studying at school. Others believe that a part-time work has many advantages. Who is right?
Personally, I agree with young people who think that the important thing in their age is studying at school. Firstly, they do not have any free time to work. They spend it to study and learn new materials. Secondly, if you work when you go at school, you will bed marks because you cannot concentrate on 2 object.
On the other hand, working somewhere you begin earning. It means you are becoming independent on your parents or relatives. Moreover, if you work, you get your own experience that will help you in the future.
I cannot agree with people who think that working part time has a lot of advantages. People should not try to become independent in this age because it is not so nessecary now. Also, you can get your experience when you will be older.
To sum up, I would like to say that to study at school is the most important and most nessecary. People get new knowlege, do many difficult tasks, and become smarter. All these, of course, demand concentration.
,
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 2
1
I have tried correcting the grammar mistakes, no comments on the content! Hope this helps! :)
In the modern world, young people want to become independent persons as quickly as possible. The best way to do it is to get a job. Some youth young people think that they should concentrate on studying at school. Others believe that a part-time work has many advantages. Who is right?Personally, I agree with the people who think that the important thing at their age is studying at school. First, they do not have any free time to work. They spend it to study and learn new materials. Second, if you work when you go to school, you will receive bad marks because you cannot concentrate on 2 objects.
On the other hand, working somewhere means you begin earning. It means you are becoming independent from your parents or relatives. Moreover, if you work, you get your own experience that will help you in the future.
I cannot agree with people who think that working part time has a lot of advantages. People should not try to become independent in this age because it is not so nessecary necessary now. Also, you can get your experience when you are older.
To sum up, I would like to say that studying at school is the most important and most nessecary necessary (necessary what?). People get new knowledge, do many difficult tasks, and become smarter. All these, of course, demand concentration.
1
PLEASE CORRECT MY ESSAY! #2
In our modern world young people want to become independent as quickly as possible. The best way to do so is to get a job. Some people think that youth should concentrate on studying at school. Others believes that a part-time work might have many advantages. Who is right?Personally, I agree with young people who think that the most important thing in their age is to study at school. Firstly, they do not have any free time to work. They spend it in studying and learning new stuff. Secondly, if you work while studying at school, you will lose grades as you cannot concentrate on two objects.
On the other hand, when you starts to earn, it means you are becoming independent of your parents or relatives. Moreover, if you work, you will get experience that may help you in future.
I do not agree with people who thinks that working part time has a lot of advantages. People should not try to become independent at this stage because it is not that necessary. Also, you can get experience when you become old.
In a nutshell, I would like to say that studies at school are most important and necessary. People acquire knowledge, carryout difficult tasks, and become smarter. All of them, of course, demands concentration.
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!
Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!
Start Learning Today
