The Football Village.Chapter 23. "Tommy's new life". Please, correct my mistakes We came to Tommy's home. His wife opened the door. "Hi guys! Come in!" she said. "Hi Mary" We came in to the living roo

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The Football Village.Chapter 23. "Tommy's new life". Please, correct my mistakes We came to Tommy's home. His wife opened the door. "Hi guys! Come in!" she said. "Hi Mary" We came in to the living room. Tommy was there. It seemed, he was in the beer. "Tommy, there will be an important game at the weekend. I think you are not ready to play." "Rubbish! I'm well" "So you will care that substitute bench would crean." Rod said. "What?" "Yes, the second half is maximum that you can expect. Pavel began to booze too. He din't do it before. You and he are lineup players. Tommy, the team is very important for us. Think about. Mary, can you help us to make our team better? We really need your help." "Yes, I'll try. He will get a lesson of clear life"

Corrections · 8

The Football Village.Chapter 23. "Tommy's new life". Please, correct my mistakes

We went to Tommy's home. His wife opened the door.
"Hi guys! Come in!" she said.
"Hi Mary."
We went in to the living room. Tommy was there. It seemed he was drunk.
"Tommy, there is an important game this weekend. I think you are not ready to play."
"Rubbish! I'm fine."
"So you will care that substitute bench would crean." Rod said.
"What?"
"Yes, the second half is maximum that you can expect. Pavel began to drink too. He didn't do it before. You and he are lineup players. Tommy, the team is very important to us. Think about the team. Mary, can you help us to make our team better? We really need your help."
"Yes, I'll try. He will get a lesson of clear life"

My comments are in purple.

"he was in the beer" - I think you mean that he drank too much beer? "Drunk" is the English word we use (for beer, wine, or alcohol).

"Rubbish! I'm well" - This is correct, but it would be more common to say "I'm fine."

"So you will care that substitute bench would crean." Rod said. - I don't understand this part.

Mary, can you help us to make our team better? - This is correct, but I think it would be better to say something like: "Mary, can you help get Tommy ready to play?"

He will get a lesson of clear life - This isn't a common phrase. I would say something like: "He needs to get his life together."

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The Football Village.Chapter 23. "Tommy's new life". Please, correct my mistakes

We came to Tommy's home. His wife opened the door.
"Hi guys! Come in!" she said.
"Hi Mary"
We came in to the living room. Tommy was there. It seemed, he was in the beer. (incorrect and I am not sure what you mean here. he was drinking
"Tommy, there will be an important game at(on/during) the weekend. I think you are not ready to play."
"Rubbish! I'm well"
"So you will care that substitute bench would crean(again, what did you mean to say here?)." Rod said.
"What?"
"Yes, the second half is maximum that you can expect. Pavel began to (drink)booze too. He didn't do it before. He and you and he are lineup players. Tommy, the team is very important for us. Think about Mary, can you help us to make our team better? We really need your help."
"Yes, I'll try. He will get a lesson of clear life"

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