The new form of slavery
Is it true slavery ended a long time ago? The answer is no. Even though we don't use the word slavery in the present time, it is existed, but in another form. Today, discrimination against maids is increasing and the fair treatment is deteriorating. We can't deny that most families in SA need maids in order to ease the burden of housework and that's fine, but the unacceptable thing is the mistreatment and the discrimination against them as they are inferior to us! We should know it is not their fault to be maids, their circumstances forced them to be so. Despite their hard work, they are treated badly like commodities and stones not to mention the profanity which they hear every day. For example, Noor who is 22 years old has received bad treatment from her employer. Whenever she ask him for her salary which is not more than 600 SR, he used to beat her. And before he went out of his house, he put her in a narrow and lonesome room. He believes that Noor is inferior to him and he forgot that we are all humans and we are all equal! Finally, we all have to watch our behavior and teach ourselves how to be nice with maids as much as we can. And keep that in mind, people may forget what you have said and may forget what you have did , but never forget how you hurt their feelings.
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Corrections · 7
1
I'm going to rewrite what you wrote as closely to your original wording as possible, while still writing it as I would as a native speaker. I hope this might help you to see different phrasings we use and help you with your language goals! That being said, you have a strong command of the language. Keep up the great work!!! :)
A new form of slavery
Is it true that slavery ended a long time ago? The answer is no. Even though we don't use the word slavery to describe it, it still exists in another form. Today, discrimination against maids is increasing and fair treatment is deteriorating. We can't deny that most families in SA need maids in order to ease the burden of housework, and that's fine. However, it is unacceptable that they are mistreated and discriminated against as if they are inferior to us! We should know hat it is no their faults that they are maids; it is a result of their circumstances. Despite their hard work, they are treated as cheap commodities and exposed to profanity every day. For example look at Noor, a 22 year old maid, who is treated terribly by her employer. Whenever she asks him for her salary, which is no more than 600 SR, he beats her. Furthermore, before he leaves the house, he puts her in a narrow and lonesome room. He believes that Noor is inferior to him, but he forgets that we are all humans and all equal! In conclusion, I believe that we all need to watch our behavior and teach ourselves how to be nice to maids as much as we can. Also, keep in mind that people may forget what you have said and done, but they never forget if you hurt their feelings.
Hope this type of example helps. Great essay again. Best of luck! :)
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The new form of slavery
Is it true that slavery ended a long time ago? The answer is no. Even though we don't use the word slavery in the present time currently/nowadays, it still exists, but in another form. Today, discrimination against maids is increasing and the fair treatment is deteriorating. We can't deny that most families in SA need maids in order to ease the burden of housework and that's fine, but the unacceptable thing is the mistreatment and the discrimination against them as if they are inferior to us! We should know it is not their fault they are maids; their circumstances forced them to be so. Despite their hard work, they are treated badly like commodities and stones not to mention the profanity which they hear every day. For example, Noor who is 22 years old has received bad treatment from her employer. Whenever she asked him for her salary, which is not more than 600 SR, he used to beat her. And before he went out of his house, he put her in a narrow and lonesome room. He believes that Noor is inferior to him and he forgot that we are all humans and we are all equal! Finally, we all have to watch our behavior and teach ourselves how to be nice to maids as much as we can. And keep that in mind, people may forget what you have said and may forget what you have done, but they never forget how you hurt their feelings.0
Please someone correct it :(?
0
Slavery and human trafficking still exist in many forms.
employment, companies, home maids, Foreign employment ... etc
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