Corrections · 2
Is this sentence written right, or can I write it better?
I don't feel good about the part where I say "especially for...." and wanted to know if I can write it better"Moreover, I wish to study and work on medical equipment in both micro and Nano scale, especially for manufacturing and optimization of them."
"Moreover, I plan to study and work on medical equipment in a micro and nano scale. Particularly, to manufacture and optimize them."
"Moreover, I plan to study and work on medical equipment in a micro and nano scale. In particular, to manufacture and optimize them."
"Moreover, I plan to study and work on medical equipment in a micro and nano scale. Prominently, in the optimization and manufacturing of them.
"Moreover, I plan('wish' is not as useful here in my opinion because a wish seems unattainable sometimes, a plan is attainable and shows more an achievable want. You can use 'desire' here as well instead but that is close to 'wish' in some ways) to study and work on medical equipment, in both a micro and a Nano scale(you can use 'level' here as well). Specifically for manufacturing and optimizing them (or, even better any of these and change the ING endings to present tense because you're already saying TO (which implies we are in the future as present now, IE I'm going TO jump over the fence, the ING ending is I will be jumping over the fence. Putting a TO (instead of FOR) in there implies you will be doing this task certainly whereas FOR is more an IF or WHEN I get there I will be doing this, the certainty is key for future goals when written or spoken "distinctly/explicitly/particularly/notably/precisely/undoubtedly, to optimize and manufacture them" I would also switch optimize and manufacture to have optimize come first as it is minor to manufacturing and something anyone in that field would do and learn before you started manufacturing them. I also separate your second part of sentence into it's own sentence. As you have already stated u want to study and work in medical field in a nano and micro level. That is a complete sentence. Now u should state the next sentence which is something else which is a separate sentence. Don't make the sentence too long or it classifies as a run on sentence. Other grammar is that you state in "both micro and nano scale" you have to add an A before the 2 "in both a micro and nano scale" this is proven when you make a sentence alone how do you write it? I want to do it on a macro scale. You can't say I want to do it macro scale. You have to have an A before it. In the sentence where you connect micro and macro you only need an a before the first one and the AND connects it to both.
This is just my suggestion, as you already know English is a very simple language. You can use a lot of different approaches to say the exact same thing. It's entirely up to the user on what they want to say and how to say it. I gave you an explanation on what I would change and why. Like why use PLAN instead of WISH and others with a reason explained. Again there is no right or wrong in what words you choose. Just a couple of grammar mistakes/edits. Otherwise, good job :)
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