The Blue Castle
I think we all have a memorable place in our mind, in which it maybe bright or dark, broad or narrow. The most memorable place to me was the house that I lived in when I was six or seven years old. In my memory, the house was big and bright. It had a little garden and backyard where I usually played after school. As you entered the house, there was a cabinet that divided the entrance and living room. In the center of the living room, there was a big marble table. After passed through the living room, there were the kitchen and bathroom. And on the left side, there were three bedrooms for my parents, my brother and me. Although my bedroom was the smallest, it had a special part to me. After moved into this house for one years, I built a little castle in my bedroom with my father. The castle was made by blue pads. It was very narrow that could allow only two people inside. And the entrance was really small that I had to crouch to get in. Inside the castle, there was a lamp that lighten every corner. I used to play with my dolls in this castle and slept in it every night. I spent lots of time in this place. This blue castle took an important part in my childhood. It was the major reason that made the house different from other place
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Possible corrections:
I think we all have a memorable place in our minds ("we" is plural); it is maybe bright or dark, broad or narrow. The most memorable place to me was the house that I lived in when I was six or seven years old. In my memory, the house was big and bright. It had a little garden and backyard where I usually played after school. As you entered the house, there was a cabinet that divided the entrance* and living room. In the center of the living room, there was a big marble table. Past the living room, there were the kitchen and the bathroom. And On the left side (left side of what?), there were three bedrooms for my parents, my brother and me. Although my bedroom was the smallest, it had a special meaning to me. After moving into this house for a year, I built a little castle in my bedroom with my father. The castle was made of blue pads. It was very narrow and could allow only two people inside. And The entrance was really small, so I had to crouch to get in. Inside the castle, there was a lamp that lit every corner. I used to play with my dolls in this castle and slept in it every night. I spent lots of time in this place. This blue castle is an important part of my childhood. It was the major reason that made the house different from other place (Has this sentence been cut off?)
*Was there a living room on one side of the cabinet and another room on the other?
Possible revision:
I think we all have a memorable place in our minds. For me, the most memorable place was the house that I lived in when I was around six or seven years old. In my memories, the house was big and bright. There was a little garden in the backyard where I usually played after school. As you entered the house, you were greeted by a cabinet that divided the entrance and living room. In the centre of the living room, there was a big marble table. Past the living room were the kitchen and the bathroom. To the left of the ___, there were three bedrooms: one for my parents, one for my brother, and one for me. Although my bedroom was the smallest, it was very special to me. A year after moving into the house, my father and I built a little blue castle in my bedroom. It had a small doorway in which I had to crouch to enter. Inside, the castle was narrow and could only house two people at a time. A lamp** lit every corner of the interior. I played with my dolls and slept in this castle every night.
** I would also specify where the lamp was. For example, "A lamp on the floor lit every corner of the interior."
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