IELTS Writtig Task №2 Essay №3
Universities should take the same number of men and women in each major. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Education is the foundation of a successful life in the modern world. It is very important to give equal rights to all people to get an education. To prove this point many people think that universities should take the same number of men and women in each of the faculties. I think the problem of violation of women rights is real. In some countries there are very strict rules for women. The main goal in our society is to give equal rights for men and women, especially in the case of education. But I think that the obligation for universities to take the same number male and female students ,does not mean there is true equality among the sexes.. My opinion is that universities should take the best students without gender quotas , they should be chosen only on professional and personal qualities.
Firstly to support my opinion lets imagine that there is such requirements for universities. And if there is a hypothetical situation when men have better skills and abilities for getting into university. In this case men should compete with men and women having lower scores.. It is not equal rights. I think universities should make application requirements appropriate for men and women without preferences for any gender.
Secondly if there is not so many women who want to study certain subjects. There are professions, for example like pilot/aviation where men play the dominant role. There are not so many women who want to be apilot so it means there would not be enough female students.. What should universities do in that case? I think a formal rule to take half women does not give us a solution to the problem.
Summing up, I completely agree to give anyone equal rights, in the case of education the formal obligations is not a solution. The same appropriate application requirements for men and women is the best way. I think the solution is the population and supporting education without considering gender and any other differences like nationalities, color of skin and so on.
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Corrections · 3
1
You did an excellent job on this! There were very very few actual errors. I just added some corrections along the lines of:
1.) Using more specialized vocabulary relating to equality and admission.[I used YELLOW TO MARK THIS]
2.) Clarifying confusion between phrases that mean "are currently like X" and phrases that mean "things that are done to make things like X" I used GREEN to Mark this.
3.) Using phrases that support the structure of a persuasive essay [I used orange to mark this]
4) Grammatical corrections:I used Blue to mark this]
Education is the foundation of a successful life in the modern world. It is very important to ensure* all people have equal access to education. To ensure equal access,** many people think that universities should accept an equal number of men and women in every faculty.
I certainly *** think the problem of violation of women rights is real. In some countries there are very strict rules for women. I also believe ***main goal in our society is to give equal rights for men and women, especially with regard to education. But I also think that compelling universities to offer admission to the same number male and female students does not further the goal of promoting* true equality between**** sexes.. My opinion is that universities should take the best students without gender quotas and that they should be chosen only on professional and personal qualities.
Firstly to support my opinion lets imagine that there are such requirements for universities and that men have better skills and abilities for getting into university. In this case, men should compete only with men but rather with the entire applicant pool. Evaluating candidates based on their gender is not promoting* equal rights. I think universities should make application requirements appropriate for men and women without preferences for any gender.
Secondly one must ask: what happens if there are not so many women who want to study certain subjects? There are professions, for example like aviation which are dominated by men. There are not so many women who want to be a pilot. Thus, should universities be compelled to except equal numbers of male and female applicants, there would not be enough female students. What should universities do in that case? I think a formal rule to take half women does not give us a solution to the problem.
Summing up, I strongly support equal rights, but in the case of education the formal obligations are not a solution. Rather, ensuring appropriate, non-discriminatory admissions requirements exist for both men and women is the best way. I think the solution to gender disparities can be found by improving education and popular cultural changes, not by considering gender and any other differences like nationalities, color of skin and so on, in admission to university faculties.
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