The happiest moment in my life
yesterday my older sister got birth , she's a girl and I can't describe that happiness that I felt when I first heard the baby's voice when they gave us her in the hospital, and then when I saw her, her little head, her little eyes, nose, mouth and ears, it's a new kind of love I have never felt before, I felt purity, kindness, cuteness, innocence.
I loved when she first held my finger with her little hand, I almost cried feeling happy, I love her cute voice even when she cries.
I keep thinking how every evil person in the world was like that one day, this shows us the fact that the human being is good by nature and I like this fact :)
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Corrections · 4
1
Congratulations Auntie Mona! Both on your new niece and also on some great writing!
My main advice is: learn how to better use commas and full stops. You have written 2 huge sentences when there should be about 10 much smaller ones, owing to your style.
Good luck!! Tom
The happiest moment in my life
Yesterday my older sister gave birth to a girl and I can't describe that happiness that I felt when I first heard the baby's voice when they gave her to us in the hospital, and then when I saw her, her little head, her little eyes, nose, mouth and ears, it's a new kind of love I have never felt before. I felt purity, kindness, cuteness, innocence.I loved when she first held my finger with her little hand. I almost cried feeling happy. I love her cute voice even when she cries.
I keep thinking how every evil person in the world was like that one day. This shows us the fact that the human being is good by nature and I like this fact :)
0
thanks a lot! :)
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I liked the way you wrote this entry, expressing your true emotions. Good writing with great words!
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