Corrections · 5
Story of my journey...
In my country, after graduation from colleges, people usually look for employment. Others who luckily have better conditions, better chances will kick start by many other ways.
However, I have another choice. I realize that I've spent too much time at college to please my parents. Now, when I have finished it, I don't like getting a headache in the office with boring work. So I choose traveling. I travel to discover the life in faraway places. I really want to escape this hustle and bustle city. Because of financial reason, now I couldn't go abroad, but that's no big problem. There are so many things in my country that interest me.
In my first journey, I visited a mountain to the South-Western of my country. The scenes were awesome and picturesque. It was considered the resource-abundant area in my country.
Nevertheless, the living standards in the area were poor, which saddened me. I'm not saying that they were impoverished-- I saw many a nice and big wooden houses and a lot of expensive motorbikes. However, there weren't adequate schools for students so some children might have to walk through hills to go to school. Roads are bumpy. They got dirty on sunny days and slippery when it rained. There was no electricity in remote villages. The poorer life amenities were, the more difficult life gets. That's why I said earlier that they have poor life standards.
It's the first time I've witnessed people's life in the mountainous area. After the experience, I decide to do something to help them. I've joined an organization which have done many projects to remove difficulties. I know I can't change their life immediately, but this is the least bit of help I can offer.
It's nice to reflect that each journey is a lesson of my life.
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Since I couldn't point out every error there is, I think it's helpful to rewrite your article and let you do the comparison :D
There is a fact that it's really difficult for me to describe emotions in English. So sad about it :(
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