Corrections · 4
The next day was warm and sunny, as the trip continued to the Czech Republic, where we stopped to eat French Fries and sampled try their national drink, Beherovka (a type sort of alcohol served cold, and often with tonic water). There was a church with a transformer vad? there. Then, we continued our journey to the capital of Czech Republic, Prague, where we visited an old town. It was sunny this day. The town seemed a little gaudy before we arrived in the more modern city. There Afterwards we looked at an opera building, saw a fantastic football freestyle, and even bought cards to take home.
On Monday, June 29, we woke up around 7, had breakfast at 7:15, and then we took a city tour at about 8:45 in the Old Town. Then After breakfast we visited the cultural towers of Adam and Eve, and the memorial of the Jewish quarter. In the memorial, In the synagogues, some of the Jewish community representatives that were killed by invading Nazis in their prelude to the Holocaust and attempted genocide of the Jewish peoples were mentioned. While we were about to enter the city, a clock in the church with an upside down horse statue chimed three times. We also visited the Grand Hotel and The European National Museum.
When it came time to eat again, we had meat soup for a starter, a main course of fried potatoes and steak with salad. Afterwards, we went down to the harbor leading to a bridge that circled back to the hotel, where we listened to U21 players while we sat in a diner eating pie with a coke to drink. The little cafe was near the clock tower that we heard ringing earlier.
Now on Tuesday, June 30, we woke up at 7 am with breakfast at 8:45. We then arrived at a place called Saint Mania which had lookout towers, truth palaces, Catholics, and Edward Benez Sankt. Then when this group was read, so were my mother and father. Jag vet inte vad vill du säga... We went and sat on a the bridge, eating meat and potato salad with some ice cream. The next day, we went to another hotel and drank a Coke at a cafe restaurant together, writing postcards. Afterwards we went and bought delicious buns, and so this concluded our 5-day vacation!
Please change this into perfect english grammar less repeatings thanks
Hi
Repetition is not a problem in what you wrote. Most of your text is clear but there are some parts that need more definition or explanation.
You have also mixed several styles of writing -
1 a log book, formal journal style, a style, also used in the 1800s to early 1900s travel writing.
2 colloquial, informal style
A good way to explore the difference in styles is to read and note the styles used in newspapers, magazines, novels and online blogs and compare them to scientific articles and formal publications.
The next day was warm and sunny as the trip continued to Tjejkien, - this is correct, and very precise, but a sort of book learning style - it is typical of late 1900s travel writing English - The next day was warm and sunny as we continued (past tense) our trip and proceeded to Tjejkien - more natural but still quite formal -
where we stopped to eat French Fries and sample (sample because it matches - eat - continuous activity) their national drink, Becherovka (a type of alcohol served cold, often served with/mixed with tonic water). There was a church with a transformer (not sure what you meant but transformer is the wring word) (delete the second - there). We then continued (our journey -not necessary) to Prague, the Czech capital,(a more natural word order) where we visited a (the old town - do you mean the old town and it was sunny the sun was shining or are you referring to the mood/atmoshpere of the old town as sunny ?) sunny old town, it seemed a little gaudy. We then continued to (before we arrived in - it is not clear if you are intending to compare - gaudy old town and modern city) the more modern city. (There - correct but a reader can get lost - which place in the preceding sentence are you referring to ? - it is a problem with English grammar so most native speakers avoid the problem by stating the location again) In the city we looked (do you mean saw in the distance or visited and explored ?) at an opera house (building), saw a fantastic football freestyle (exhibition/display/match - it is not clear whether you saw it for a few minutes or watched all of it), and (even - only used colloquially - for emphasis) bought cards to take home ( a normal tourist activity so there is no need for emphasis).
On Monday, June 29, we woke around 7, had breakfast at 7:15 (this read like a log book - is that is your intention then it is fine - less formal - we woke around 7 and had breakfast at 7:15 - another form - and breakfasted at 7:17 - a style that can be more formal or a story telling style) , and then we took a city tour at about 8:45 (this is correct but odd- caught a city tour at 8:45 = began, took = a period of time - took a city tour in (in = during) the morning) in the Old Town. (Then - unnecessary) After breakfast, we visited the cultural towers of Adam and Eve, and the memorial of the Jewish quarter (memorial in ?memorial to the loss of the Jewish quarter ?). In the memorial, there were (also - not needed) mentions (mentions - do you mean stories/ recordings of or, descriptions of the events concerning ?) in the synagogues of the representatives of the Jewish community who (that – use - who - because they were people) were killed by invading Nazis in (their - could refer to either the Jewish people or the Nazis - it is better here to repeat Nazi or use "the prelude to Holocaust" - as this is common knowledge) the prelude to the Holocaust and the (the used again - for emphasis) attempted genocide of the Jewish people.(peoples - implies different groups eg tribes, nations, races). As (While - as just sounds better - more natural - also while implies duration - longer time) we were about to enter the city, a clock in the church with an upside down horse statue chimed three times. We also visited the Grand Hotel and The Europa National Museum.
When it came time to eat again, (correct but very bookish - For our evening meal/ midday meal/lunch) we had meat soup for a starter (maybe you could say - we had a meat soup starter) and a main course of fried potatoes and steak with salad. Afterwards we went down to the harbor leading to (this reads as the harbor lead to a bridge - was it a path that led to bridge) a bridge that circled (this implies the bridge circled back to - do you mean that you took a path that led the harbor and then to a bridge and back to ..) and back to the hotel, where we listened to U21 (define U21 - most people would read U21 as Under 21 = a junior sport team) players while we sat in a diner (choose either - diner -or small cafe) eating (define pie - meat, sweet, fruit) a pie with a coke (this is a very colloquial pattern so you say - a pie and and coke - or - more descriptive -an xxx pie and a coke) can to drink (usually said as a can of coke - a coke can implies you ate the metal container). (A diner does not usually equate to a small cafe - you are swapping cultural styles of eating places) The diner (little cafe) was near the clock tower that we heard ring earlier.
(Now on Tuesday – Now on - not needed unless you are using it to compare with something) On Tuesday, June 30, we woke up at 7 am and had (with) breakfast at 8:45. We then arrived (you missed out a step - setting out - did you walk, catch a bus ?) at a place called Saint Mania which had lookout towers, truth (what do you meant by truth palace – what is this ?) palaces, Catholics (Catholics = a collection of people of the Catholic faith, what do you mean ?) , and Edward Benez Sankt (a shrine ? a tomb ?). Then when this group was read, so were my mother and father (rework this, it is not clear what you mean - do you mean - when the group was ready ? ) (also - which group - it has not been defined in the text ). We went and sat on a bridge (good but very informal), eating meat and potato salad and ate (with some - implies it was all mixed in together - before you ate it) ice cream. The next day, we went to another hotel and drank a Coke (either use capital Coke = Coca Cola - or use coke - generic cola drink - if you actually drank both generic and real then use Coke for real and - cola - for generic) at a cafe restaurant (were the cafe and restaurant together/colocated - or was the group of people - together) , writing postcards. Afterwards we ( no need for - went - unless you mean you walked to xx and bought - went and bought is a colloquial pattern) bought delicious buns, and so concluded our 5-day vacation! ( ! - exclamation marks are rarely used in writing – use them for actual exclamation - Fire Fire ! )
To set this paragraph as the concluding paragraph of the story you could start – On Tuesday, June 30, the last day of our journey, ……
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