Optional Essay for Graduate Marketing Program Application

As I was working as a sales representative in New Energy Hitech trading company, I found that I needed to further improve my language skills, learn more about Marketing and know foreign culture better. To be an au pair for this special multi-cultural family was a very good option for me. I will have a lot of spare time for study. Plus I can spread Chinese culture and experience different cultures first hand.

This is also a chance to practice leadership. In my opinion, teaching is a way of leading. Since they have a full-time Spanish speaking nanny, my main job is to teach two children Chinese. I find that gamification of learning is one of the best ways to stimulate their learning interest. I guided them patiently and consistently came up with new ideas of educational games for them. They like to draw pictures, so I ask them to tell a story in Chinese while drawing. They like a game called “Spot It” which requires them to spot animals. So we had competitions on this game but they need to name the animal in Chinese. They also tried to find Chinese characters from a bunch of signs and decode the secrets. I am happy they enjoyed learning while playing the games.

I am also happy to have an opportunity to hear ideas of Harvard graduates. Mrs. X was a teacher in university and now she runs her own horse business. Mr. X is an energy investor. He analyzes energy projects and decides whether to finance them. They like Chinese culture. They know me well and they have witnessed my ability to adapt and learn quickly.

Bolded Text: Gramatically awkward. "...and get to know foreign culture better" sounds less awkward, the sentence as a whole is kind of a "run on".

Make sure you stick with the same time tense, it felt as if you were switching between present, past and future.