Please amend my composition 31
Today’s weather is good, sun is shining brightly . Jim decides to go to the beach. He calls his friends, but nobody is free. So he decides to go to the beach by himself. He takes the swimwear, beach umbrella and new portable stereo radio
When he arrive the beach, there are fewer people, he holds up the umbrella, then lie down. He turns on his radio and enjoys the wonderful music.
Jim sleeps soon. On that time, a man comes over and sits down beside him. The man also has a small radio and play the same music as Jim, then the man take Jim’s radio. When Jim wake up, his radio is missing, but there is a small and old radio which is belong to the thief.
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Please amend my composition 31
Today’s weather is good, and sun is shining brightly .
Jim decided to go to the beach. He called his friends, but nobody was free.
Use 'past tense' because what you are narrating has happened .
So, he decided to go to the beach by himself. He takes brought along his the swimwear,a beach umbrella and his new portable stereo radio .
When he arrived at the beach, there were few people there . He held up the umbrella, and then lay down. He turned on his radio and enjoyed the wonderful music.
Past tense of 'lie is 'lay'
Jim sleeps soon. Soon , Jim fell asleep
On that time While he was sleeping ,a man came over and sat down beside him.
The man also had a small radio and it played the same music as Jim . Later then the man took Jim’s radio. When Jim woke up, he found his his radio is missing, and saw the small and old radio that was left beding by the thief instead .
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