Hey, I would appreciate it if you correct my essay "Traffic Accidents"

Some people think that strict punishment for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety.

Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion

I apologize for the mistakes. The thing is that this was written within 40 mins (no more) without any help. (please don't apologise for your mistakes, mistakes are how we learn and it is why I'm here; to help you!)

Since the car was produced in an industrial way by Henry Ford, there have been lots of challenges that governments have had to face, and safety road safety has clearly been the most challenging of all. Some people claim that harsh punishments should be implemented to in improving road safety, while others think that more effective ways should be used. As this is a debated topic, I will analyze both points of view for viability.

Historically, a system of strict fines has been implemented by governments in order to tackle the increasing rate of accidents in on highways. However, without training and education these models have failed. For instance, in some regions from of South America driving offenders are punished with money fines and they are obliged to attend a seminar where they are taught the essential driving rules and the law. This model has had awesome results in reducing the rate of road accidents. Thus, harsh punishments on their own are not enough to fix this phenomenon, education is key to obtaining positive results.

In the majority of traffic accidents, unexperienced drivers are involved. It is difficult to fine drivers with money or use imprisonment when the cause of the accidents is are lack of experience. For example, local authorities in some European countries ask for a driving course test in order to issue a new driving license to someone. This policy has proven to be an effective way to reducing traffic accidents in Europe. Therefore, using punishment without training seems to be an ineffective way to solve this problem.

In brief, education and training have shown to be important tools in tackling traffic accidents because drivers have the chance to be taught the negative ramifications of a traffic offense and they can master their driving skills. In my opinion strict punishment is an old fashion model that should be rebuilt. I expect that governments and societies at large keep on working on modern ways to teach drivers how to behave in a vehicle.

This is a great essay, well done! You just need to revise your prepositions a bit more!

Hey, I would appreciate it if you correct my essay "Traffic Accidents"

Some people think that strict punishment for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety.✅

Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion✅

I apologize for the mistakes. The thing is that this was written within 40 mins (no more) without any help.✅

Since the car was produced in an industrial way by Henry Ford, there have been lots of challenges that governments have had to face, and safety road road safety  has clearly been the most challenging of all. Some people claim that harsh punishments should be implemented to improve ing road safety, while others think that more effective ways should be used. As this is a debated topic, I will analyze both points of view for viability.

Historically, a system of strict fines has been implemented by governments in order to tackle the increasing rate of accidents in on highways. However, without training and education these models systems have failed. For instance, in some regions from like South America, driving offenders are punished with money fines and they are (obliged) obligated to attend a seminar where they are taught the essential driving rules of the law (or "essential driving rules under law"). This system has had awesome results in reducing the rate of road accidents. Thus, harsh punishments on their own are not enough to fix this phenomenon, education is key to obtaining positive results.

In the majority of traffic accidents unexperienced drivers are involved. It is difficult to fine drivers with money or use imprisonment when the cause of the accidents is lack of experience. For example, local authorities in some European countries ask that a driving course be completed before issuing a new driving license to someone. This policy has proven to be an effective way to reduce traffic accidents in Europe. Therefore (TIP: therefore is fine but I think "furthermore" would be better in this sentence) , using punishment without training seems to be an ineffective way to solve this problem.

In brief, education and training have shown to be important tools in tackling traffic accidents because drivers have the chance to be taught the negative ramifications of a traffic offense and they can master their driving skills. In my opinion strict punishment is an old fashioned system that should be revised. I expect that governments and societies at large keep on working on modern ways to teach drivers how to behave in a vehicle.