renting accommodation - letter

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to ask for your help in finding a accommodation for my family and me. We are coming to your country next month to live there permanently.

Actually, what we are looking for is a three-bedroom apartment which is big enough for my family to stay in. Regarding to the size of my family, there are six people – my wife and I, my parents and my two daughters, the little one is only nine-months old and the age of the other is eight years.

As you may guess, I need to send my elder daughter to a local primary school, so I would be very grateful if the location of the apartment is near to one, for example, less than 10 minutes’ walking distance would be better. I also very care about the quality of the education in the school, if it is a prestigious one, I would like to pay more.

Looking forward to your reply.

Regards,
Peng

Hello Peng,

Nice natural  letter with just a few small tweaks. Person tends to be used as a singular noun but people in the plural.

Well done

Bob