Corrections · 6
ODOR-气味-
ODOR
A few new frames come to/arrive at my home
They are made by of/from pine
These guys
Declare their presence/existence by their fragrance/smell,
Smell which occasionally comes and goes/[appears and disappears]
that gives me the/an illusion that . .
I feel as though/like I'm in the forest, and the mountains, as if (I am) a fairy
[*But there's no moisture], and in the oxygen-rich freshness, but there's no moisture [*transpose]
Suddenly, the odors of ginger and chicken surge from the my neighbor's kitchen.
In one second I am back to earth.
Nice writing. They say you shouldn't correct poetry, so I've just made some suggestions.
-气味-
家里来了几只相框,
松木做的,
这些家伙
以气味宣示自己的存在,
偶尔散来
让人产生置身山林
要做道仙的错觉,
只是少了那潮湿和富氧的清爽
忽然一股姜葱鸡的气味从对楼厨房袭来,
一秒把人拉回人间。
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