My first time

Hi, this is my first time in this pleace place, I am a little bit shy so I hope you wil be patient with me. I feel enthusiastic about this new adventure, I think I have to be more brave and try to do new things such as; writing and exchanging different opinions with other people. Have a nice day to all of you :D

My First Time

Hi, this is my first time writing here / writing on italki. (in this pleace,) I am a little bit shy, so I hope you will (wil) be patient with me. I feel enthusiastic about this new adventure. (,) I think I have to be braver (more brave) and try (to do) new things, such as writing and exchanging my (different) opinions with other people. Have a nice day, (to) all of you :D

The heading should be in initial capitals. Your first sentence includes the word 'this' twice and seems a little unnatural. It is better, therefore, to remove one reference. Nicely written. 

My first time

Hi, this is my first time in this place, I am a little bit shy so I hope you wil be patient with me. I feel enthusiastic about this new adventure, I think I have to be more brave and try to do new things such as writing and exchanging different opinions with other people. Have a nice day to all of you :D