The cardboard box
Rain had been falling on the cardboard box for nearly an hour when it began to move. The box was lying on a dump, with other abandoned and useless things that showed a sad environment. Suddenly, a little dog came out of the box. He had been there hidden, protecting itself from the heavy rain, and avoiding to recall the horrendous experience it had been eyewitness of.
When Peter, his owner, was getting some food for it, a weird noise covered the house; two robbers broke into the house violently and killed Peter without any mercy. The little dog scarcely had time to run away without being shot. The dog walked around the streets and the city for some hours, looking at people’s faces, focusing his attention on their gestures, but the little dog did not find anything special in them.
From that day on, this poor dog hides in that box, escaping from the evilness of humans or probably expecting that a divine hand brings it salvation.
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 2
1
The cardboard box
Rain had been falling on the cardboard box for nearly an hour when it began to move. The box was lying in a dump, with other abandoned and useless things that showed a sad environment. Suddenly, a little dog came out of the box. He had been there, hidden, protecting himself from the heavy rain, and avoiding to recall of the horrendous experience he had been eyewitness to.
When Peter, his owner, was getting some food for him, a weird noise filled the house; two robbers broke into the house violently and killed Peter without any mercy. The little dog scarcely had time to run away without being shot. The dog walked around the streets and the city for some hours, looking at people’s faces, focusing his attention on their gestures, but the little dog did not find anything special in them.
From that day on, this poor dog hides in that box, escaping from the evilness of humans and hoping that a divine hand will brings it salvation.
Muy bien hisoria Eduardo! En este tipo de escritura ceativa hay muchas posibilidades para elegir las palabras y la estructura. Me gustan mucho sus elecciones y trato de cambiar los menos.
1
The cardboard box
Rain had been falling on the cardboard box for nearly an hour when it began to move. The box was lying on a dump, with other abandoned and useless things that showed made a sad environment. Suddenly, a little dog came out of the box. He had been there hidden hiding there, protecting itself sheltering from the heavy rain, and avoiding to recall remembering the horrendous experience it he had been eyewitness of wiitnessed.
When Peter, his owner, was getting some food for him* it, a weird noise covered the house there was a strange sound; two robbers broke into the house violently and killed Peter without any mercy. The little dog scarcely had time to run away without being shot. The dog walked around the streets and the city city streets for some hours, looking at people’s faces, and focusing his attention on their gestures, but the little dog did not find anything special in them.
From that day on, this poor dog hides in that box, escaping from the evilness of humans or probably expecting that a divine hand brings will bring it salvation.
* Se puede usar "him" o "it", pero tiene que ser consequente
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!
Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!
Start Learning Today
