The Memorable Trip

When I was in grade 11, my classmates and I used to go on a picnic at the beach. Early one morning, we made a trip to Binh Thanh district. It was a beautiful day when we arrived at our destination. The sky was blue and birds were soaring through the white fleeced < this isn't a word we would use. Maybe fluffy would be a better choice clouds; the beach was surrounded by azure seas. We enjoyed swimming in the deep cerulean waters and playing in the golden sandy beach. At noon, we gathered under poplar shade trees, singing and playing games. In the evening, the beach was so beautiful that we decided to have a barbecue dinner under the moonlight. After that, we sat down around the camp fire, hearing the sounds of whispering waves as they kissed the white sandy beach and talked about our futures. Some of the boys even ran down to play in the cool waves. Altogether, it was a trip full of memories that are deeply engraved in my heart.

It sounds like a wonderful place.

The Memorable Trip

When I was in grade 11, my classmates and I used to go for (on) a picnic on (in) the beach. Early one morning, we set out on (made) a trip to Binh Thanh district. It was a beautiful day when we arrived at (to) our destination. At once, my eyes were drawn to the deep blue sky,  (was blue with) where birds (was) could be seen soaring through (the) white fluffy (fleeced) clouds; soon my gaze locked on to the expanse of golden sand set out before me, the pristine beach embraced  (was surrounded) by azure seas. Soon after, we were enjoying (enjoyed) swimming in the deep cerulean waters and playing on that (in the) golden sandy beach. At noon, we gathered under the shade of poplar (poplars shade) trees, singing and playing games. Hours later, as the brightness of day gave way to evening,  (In the evening,) the beauty of the beach was so beguiling, calling us, (beautiful) that we decided to have a barbecue dinner under the moonlight. There, as night fell, (After that,) we settled (sat down) around the warmth of the campfire (camp fire,) and, amid the backdrop of (hearing the sounds) of whispering waves gently kissing (kissed) the (white) sandy beach, we talked (and talking) about our futures. Some of the boys even took time out to run (ran) down and frolic in (to play with) the now cool waters. (waves.) All in all, (Altogether,) it was a trip full of memories that will forever be (deeply) engraved deep in my heart.

Great article. Very descriptive and creative, setting out a scene so true to life that readers can well imagine actually being there. As agreed, I have offered a few others phrases you could use to enhance your article, although your original is perfectly acceptable.