Self introduction for internship

Hello, ice team. My name is Sooyeon Kim and I live in seoul, south Korea. I’m a senior at Hansung University studying Visual Communication Design. Since I’m a very curious and inventive inquisitive person, I’ve traveled all over to experience different viewpoints, different cultures, and different lifestyles. I decided to major design visual communication design when I saw my cousin’s design works. It seemed cool that she can make something nicely as she wants. Experiencing American culture and life has always been one of my dreams and I think I’m well prepared to do so. I’m sure that I can adapt anywhere. Thank you for watching my video. You can have confidence in my passion and will.

Notes:  Your grammar is very good.  Some of the words you use are not quite correct in the context.

Inventive: making things - Inquisitive = discovering new things

The sentence about your sister is very vague.  I would write: "It seemed cool that she can make her imagination come to life using a computer/on paper."  or "It seemed cool that she could show things visually that I could only imagine in my mind".

Concede has the connotation that they don't believe in you at the beginning, but changed their mind.