Essay about money

Firstly, nowadays we live in a consumer society. Money is one of the most important things in our lives. All of us are obsessed with spending money and buying possesions. The measure of happiness is how much money you earn or how much money you have. Moreover, money can show your status in our society: the brand of your car, your clothes, the place where you live...

(1) There are other problems too. Most people have huge mortgages and they have to support many monthly expenses. Besides all this, the cost of living has risen a lot over the last years. For these reasons, many families cannot make ends meet. They have many problems for paying the bills.

Currently, it is very common that people purchase everything by credit. It is a wrong way to spend our money. People should live within their means. It is more important how you spend your money than how much money you earn. If you make a monthly budget, you could save money. Saving money is important for the future, therefore we must avoid overspending.

Secondly, during the last years, new technologies have appeared in our daily lives. Currently, most people have a smartphone, and use Internet for many things in their lives. One of these things is the way that the use their money. Nowadays, people can use Internet to purchase and pay. It is an easy and comfortable way of payment so it is becoming more and more popular. Hovewer many people are frightened by this way of payment because it can cause fraud and cheating. If someone steals your credit card number, he could purchase absolutely anything (2) on the net. As a result, many people design devices and applications to avoid this. There are plenty of resources to avoid fraud, such as antiviruses, firewalls....Therefore bank operations over the Internet are more secure and trustworthy. If you use Internet properly and follow all the advice of security experts, paying on the Internet is as trusted as paying using traditional ways.

On the other hand, people look for cheaper bank to put their money on them (3). They want banks without monthly fees and other kind of beneficts. People do not want to pay for putting their money in a bank account. They also want to get a hign interest rate for their money, thereby online banks are becoming more popular. If we use this kind of banking, we can get more for our money. In addition, you can do any transactions that you need from your house (4).

Money is important, but it shouldn't be the most important for us.

(1) What you had written was correct in this paragraph, but these changes sound more natural.

(2) Using the word 'anything' sounds more normal than everything and has the sense that the person could buy many different things, that it could be a range of expensive things, we don't know what it might be!

 (3)  This sounds a bit strange.  Do you mean that people look for 'more competitive banks in which to invest their money', perhaps?

(4) 'from your house' is correct, but in this case it sounds better to say 'from your own home'.  More than this, it is a very common expression to say, 'from the comfort of your own home'.

Well done, Juan Carlos!  This is excellent!  I am very impressed and enjoyed reading this.  I agree with your opinions.  One of the things that I really hate is credit cards!  I never use mine and earlier this year my credit card company cancelled mine since I hadn't used it in over 10 years!

Good job

Leigh