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How to make this one better? Dear Alore, I am so excited about your coming. Well, first, you should take train T910 and get off at Tehrend Station. Then you need to get out of the train station through Exit D, by the side of which there is a bus stop. Bus 622 is the one that you are going to catch. And once you get on the bus you need to be careful because my house is not very far actually. You need to watch out the buildings on the right side of the road, and when you see a skyscraper on the top of which are three large letters 'DUM', just get off at the next stop. Next, go straight down the DUM Street(you can see the sigh ) until you see my house number D52. I am looking forward to your visiting. Tolen

Corrections · 2

0

How to make this one better?

Dear Alore,

I am so excited about your coming. Well, first, you should take train T910 and get off at Tehrend Station. Then you need to get out of the train station through Exit D, by the side of which there is a bus stop. Bus 622 is the one that you are going to catch. And once you get on the bus you need to be careful because my house is not very far actually. You need to watch out the buildings on the right side of the road, and when you see a skyscraper on the top of which are three large letters 'DUM', just get off at the next stop. Next, go straight down the DUM Street(you can see the sigh ) until you see my house number D52.

I am looking forward to your visiting.

Tolen

 

 

 

This is mostly me being picky! Your English is really good.

 

1 - `get out of` sounds like it is difficult.`leave` might be better.

2 - `are going to` sounds a little strange because they might not. `want to` or `need to` sounds better.

3 - `watch out for` is best for one specific thing, like `watch out for the skyscraper with DUM in big letters`. Just `watch the buildings` is better.

4 - mistype I assume. Sign.

5 - `visit` is better.

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