Corrections · 2
My English poem ;) Afraid that it might not be so natural. Hoping for correction.
Leaning on the terrace
Feeling the world in silence
The coldness makes loneliness [I would replace "makes with something like "brings forth"]
The lonely feelings make the cold felt in depth deep inside
A train of thoughts that can't be cut
A pain of parting all drained out [I only added the word "all" here so that it rhythmically matches]
A chaos of memories are littered upmixture of feelings deep down in my heart.
The last line needs a little work: try, "A chaotic mixture of memories and feelings deep down in my heart." Or something like that.
Truly wonderful poem! Rather melancholy, a real chilly feeling, which is what I think you were going for.
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