Route 66

Route 66

I started my journey in Illinois. I was visiting Michigan Avenue, in Chicago, with all the skyscrapers, when I suddenly saw on the square a big statue of Marylin Monroe.  Then I went to the Millenium Park, where I saw the Harris Theater [?] and the famous Cloud Gate sculpture.

Afterwards I went to the John Hancock Center, one of highest buildings in Chicago. At the top of the building we had an incredible view of Michigan Lake and the whole city. At night I decided to visit the Skydeck, where you are suspended 400 meters up, above all the lights of the city.  It was amazingly beautiful. 

Next I went to Saint Louis. I saw the Gateway Arch, which marks the border between Illinois and Missouri. I went to a bar named Bikers, where the ceiling was full of women’s underwear. It was funny! Later on, I went to a drive-in to see a movie, but the movie was boring and old.

I continued my journey on the Mother Road to Kansas. There I went to [ate at?] the diner 4 Women On The Road. Outside the diner, I saw the tow truck which inspired Martin in the movie Cars.

When I got to Oklahoma, I stayed all day in The Blue Whale, a small amusement park. At night I went to a restaurant called Pops, where you can taste over 600 kinds of soda. In front of the restaurant there was a sculpture of a soda bottle covered with dazzling multi-colored LED lights. It was beautiful to watch while drinking.

When I arrived in Texas, I immediately went to Big Texas Ranch because there was a challenge I wanted to do: to eat a four pound steak within one hour. I did it, and they offered me my lunch. Then I went to Cadillac Ranch.

Next I went to New Mexico, the land of Natives Americans. Santa Fe had a particular architecture which we found nowhere else. Later on, I got some rest at the motel El Rancho which welcomed many stars of Hollywood at the time Hollywood was shooting westerns.

Then in Arizona I went in the Painted Desert and Petrified Forest where there are fossilized tree trunks which date back more than 225 million years. Afterwards I went to the Grand Canyon, where I saw a lot of squirrels. Then I did a helicopter ride. I saw the Colorado River: it was impressive.

Finally, I arrived in California. I had to visit the boulevard Walk of Fame, to see these famous stars on the ground. After the countryside of Illinois, the red rocks of Arizona, [I was glad to see the?]  sea and palm trees of Santa Monica.

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Nice essay!  You have some very descriptive adjectives.  Using paragraphs and sentence breaks, as well as varying your punctuation, will help the story flow more easily.  

Why not add some more details about your trip?  See below: in the places I've put three stars (like this: ***), the sentence ends abruptly, as though you haven't finished your thought.  (I'm learning French, and so I understand if this was the most you could write - it's a lot already!)

I started my journey in Illinois. I was visiting Michigan Avenue, in Chicago, with all the skyscrapers, when I suddenly saw on the square a big statue of Marylin Monroe.*** [What was so sudden about it?  What heppened then?] Then I went to the Millenium Park, where I saw the Harris Teather [?] and the famous Cloud Gate sculpture.

Afterwards I went to the John Hancock Center, one of highest buildings in Chicago. At the top of the building we had an incredible view of Michigan Lake and the whole city. At night I decided to visit the Skydeck, where you are suspended 400 meters up, above all the lights of the city. It was amazingly beautiful.

Next I went to Saint Louis. I saw the Gateway Arch, which marks the border between Illinois and Missouri. I went to a bar named Bikers, where the ceiling was full of women’s underwear. It was funny! Later on, I went to a drive-in to see a movie, but the movie was boring and old.*** [What movie?  What was boring about it?]

I continued my journey on the Mother Road to Kansas. There I went to [ate at?] the diner 4 Women On The Road. Outside the diner, I saw the tow truck which inspired Martin in the movie Cars.

When I got to Oklahoma, I stayed all day in The Blue Whale, a small amusement park.*** [What did you do there?] At night I went to a restaurant called Pops, where you can taste over 600 kinds of soda. In front of the restaurant there was a sculpture of a soda bottle covered with dazzling multi-colored LED lights. It was beautiful to watch while drinking.

When I arrived in Texas, I immediately went to Big Texas Ranch because there was a challenge I wanted to do: to eat a four pound steak within one hour. I did it, and they offered me my lunch.*** [How did you feel after eating four pounds of steak?  Way to go!] Then I went to Cadillac Ranch.*** [Why did you want to go to Cadillac Ranch?]

Next I went to New Mexico, the land of Natives Americans. Santa Fe had a particular architecture which we found nowhere else.*** [What was that architecture like? Did you like it or not?] Later on, I got some rest at the motel El Rancho which welcomed many stars of Hollywood at the time Hollywood was shooting westerns.

Then in Arizona I went in the Painted Desert and Petrified Forest where there are fossilized tree trunks which date back more than 225 million years. Afterwards I went to the Grand Canyon, where I saw a lot of squirrels. Then I did a helicopter ride. I saw the Colorado River: it was impressive.

Finally, I arrived in California. I had to visit the boulevard Walk of Fame, to see these famous stars on the ground.***[How was it to visit the Walk of Fame? Did you enjoy it?] After the countryside of Illinois, the red rocks of Arizona, [what about the sea and palm trees do you want to contrast?] *** sea and palm trees of Santa Monica.