My Profile

My name is Ichiem. I am from Indonesia. I am interested join with joined italki in order to improve my English. I have a My purpose is to introduce my homeland to the world.  Indonesia is has not just Bali. There are many other amazing places to see in Indonesia. that u would find in the other worldside. and then I also want to become make a friendship with another people from around the world

Other comments: 

1) Some rules on capitalization: The first letter of each word in a title should be capitalized. The pronoun "I" is always capitalized. Proper names, like "Indonesia" and "Bali" are capitalized. The first letter of each sentence is capitalized.

2) Be sure to insert a space after a punctuation mark.  

3) The third sentence sounded a little awkward to me.  I tried to make a correction without changing your choice of words.  However, you could also say:

"I would like to introduce my homeland to the world." 

"My goal is to introduce my homeland to the world." 

4) You could also say: "There is more to Indonesia than Bali." 

5) The last sentence also sounds awkward to me.  I attempted a correction, but it still sounds a little off to me.  Maybe someone else can suggest something a little better.