Search from various English teachers...
South Korea flagLEE JAE HYUNG
Help me, Let's correct and add sentence for me (It is myself introduction for my resume. so I want to correct and add sentence my writting) I always keep my honestness. When I’m freshman, I found a briefcase. There is much money in briefcase. I can use lots of money, but I couldn’t. Because I think that honestness is very important in my life. If I work for UNIQLO, I will work based on honesty. So I will get a customer’s trust. Since I was young, my parents teach me to earn allowance myself. I worked to clean up my room and dishes, and I received money to my parents. So I learned independent-mind. It was good effect for me. And I convinced that it will be a good effect for my career. My strengths are positive and outgoing. I want to actively enjoy campus life. So I joined student’s union and be elected president of student’s union. I went to explore M.T and O.T place with my members. And we prepared whole union’s events. So we learned cooperation. While I experienced these active, I learned decision and executive ability. I think that I will perfectly work based on my strengths. I want to have a variety of experience, so I went to study in china. But, I don’t think that study isn’t a whole of my life. So I planed that I make Kim-bab and sell it on the street. At first, I had trouble to sell item. Because chinese haven’t interest to it. But I don’t give up and worked really hard for it. I made free-sample stand and Xiangchai Kim-bab what is all of Chinese like vegetable. It can do that Chinese interest Xiangchai Kim-bab. So I earned much money and be praised to Chinese. I will work based on these freshness, I will contribute to UNIQLO’s growth. In 2005, UNIQLO’s store opened in korea. It gave freshness to me. I think that there are many kinds of design and color’s clothes. And it was cheaper than other store’s items. So I like UNIQLO. And it is very popular brand now. I usually hope that I will be a global person. I convinced that UNIQLO will make my dream. And I want to work for company’s growth. I’m applying for a position in VMD of sales support team. As I’m working VMD, I will work for our customer’s comfort. So I convinced that we give more comfortable shopping circumstance.

Corrections · 1

0

Please help me, Let's correct the essay, and add more sentences for me if necessary

(It is my_self introduction for of my resume. So I want to that someone may correct it and add more sentences on my writting)

I always keep my honesty.  When I’m was a freshman, I found a briefcase one day. There is much was a lot of money in the briefcase. I can could have used lots of that money, but instead I couldn’t reported to the police, because I think that honesty is very important in my life.  If I work for UNIQLO, I will work based on honesty. So I will get trust from a customers trust.

Since I was young, my parents teach taught me to earn allowance myself. I worked to clean up my room and dishes, and I received money to my parents. So I learned self independence t-mind. It was a good effect for me, and I convinced myself that it will be a good effect for my career.

My strengths are I am positive and outgoing. I want to actively enjoy campus life. So I have joined the student’s union and have been elected for the president of the student’s union. I went to explore M.T and O.T [N.B. What are M.T and O.T ?? Avoid unnecessary abbreviations.] places with my members. And we prepared whole union’s events. So we learned cooperation. While I experienced these activities, I learned how to make important decisions and executive ability. I think that I will perfectly work very well based on my such strengths.

I want to have a variety of experience, so I went to study in China. But (better with: However,) I don’t (in formal writing: I do not) think that study isn’t a the whole of my life. So I planned that I to make Kim-bab and sell it them on the street. At first, I had trouble to sell the items, because Chinese people are not haven’t interested to it in them. But I don’t did not give up and worked really hard for it. I made free-sample stand and Xiangchai Kim-bab, which is are all made of Chinese like vegetable. It can do was found that Chinese are interested in Xiangchai Kim-bab. So I earned much some money and be my hand-making of Kim-bab was praised to Chinese. I will work based on these freshness. I will hope to contribute to UNIQLO’s the growth of UNIQLO.

In 2005, UNIQLO’s a store of UNIQLO was opened in Korea. It gave freshness to me. I think that there are many kinds of design and colored clothes. And it was They are cheaper less expensive [N.B. Try to avoid the adjective of "cheap" of an item when there are more options, because it may mean that it is in poor quality.] than other store’s items. So I like UNIQLO. And It is now very popular brand now. I usually hope that I will be a global person. I am convinced that UNIQLO will make my dream. And I want to work for the company’s growth. I’m (in formal writing: I am) now applying for a position in the VMD [N.B. What is VMD ?? Avoid unnecessary abbreviations.] of the sales support team. As I’m working in the VMD, I will work for the comfort of our customers comfort. So I am convinced that we together give offer a more comfortable shopping circumstance.

---
Good day. / 좋은 하루.

Want to progress faster?

Join this learning community and try out free exercises!

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!

Start Learning Today