Physical beauty or Inner Beauty?
It just suddenly came to my mind that, I am no longer attracted to men with handsome facial structures. Though there was a time, when I would be so easily drawn by those thick eyebrows, blue eyes, tall nose or even just the blond of their hair. Now that I am a little older, a little more mature, and my hormones are little more stable; I find myself becoming an aficionado of wit, characters and humor. Maybe it is still the teenager in me talking. Perhaps a few years later, I will find myself looking for other things in love.
Note: I would like to improve my writing. Not necessarily the grammar, but the style, the use of advanced vocabulary and complex sentences. It will be good if you could change some of the wordings in this entry, restructure the sentences or even paraphrase the notions. Thank you so much for your time and attention. :)
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 5
1
(*As others have said great job, and most of my changes aren't correcting errors but only making adjustments so that the sentences 'sound better' to me, for what it's worth.)
Physical beauty, or Inner Beauty?
It just suddenly came to my mind that, I am no longer attracted to men with handsome facial structures features. Though there was a time, when I would be so easily be drawn by to those thick eyebrows, blue eyes, tall nose, or even just simply the blondness of their hair. Now that I am a little older, a little more mature, and my hormones are little more stable; I find myself becoming an aficionado of characters,humor and wit (<for some reason the order sounds better when longer words are put first). Maybe it is still the teenager in me talking. Perhaps a few years later, I will find myself looking for other things in love.
0
That's a lovely paragraph. One could have minor quibbles (e.g. "the blondNESS of their hair ...", a "long" rather than a "tall" nose, etc.), but the overall structure and expressiveness is great.
0
it is hard to correct someone that writes better than a native english speaker. keep it up!
0
I think your writing is very good,Ur17 and I agree with you that Physical attraction is only part of the story.Also you may find that your taste changes as you get older. Good luck in love,anyway.
Want to progress faster?
Join this learning community and try out free exercises!
Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!
Start Learning Today
