To lose flesh or not to loose? Looking for my lovely dress everyday, I tell mysels - just water and apples, dear, just water and apples. There are only thirthy days before the New Year celebration! I must get into good form. An awful meat bag disturbs me. I can t be wonderful in my beautiful dress! But my boyfrend says - "I d love it.It is a sexy little belly. You are of exellent weight". But for me it is a catastropha! All my life I feel myself rather overweight. Even in school boys call me "Plumpy", "Sniker", "Fat one" or even a "Miss Pig". In 9th grade I lost some extra killos and they cooked up for me a new name "princess Sisy", cause my ballrooms became a little more over number three. I felt myself like an Allien in a laundry among the skirt desks. I can t wear narrow sweaters, can t jump on my tranning lessons, what even say about eating sausages in school canteen. It became normal when I met my first boyfriend. When we broke up, I started eat only "Sneakers" . A year later I was about 80 killos. I never stayed on ...because once the doctors messed me wieght and height. And I became a legendary "Fat Monster" in school. Nobody likes me in the university, cause I was too big. "I d rathersit on diet, than date with you" - boys often giged at my problem. It was a long lonlyness until I lost weight again. Than my life changed cardinallly. Boy after boy, date after date - even my Mom started to worry - why I am so sliding girl? Now I calmed down. But every piece of extra fat makes me worry - what if Fat Monster would come back?